In Part I we discussed commitment as it applies to your unconscious beliefs and how that may show up in your life.
I finished last weeks post with:
“You need to exercise your mental strength and make a good firm decision right now and that is to just try another project as you are sure this time it will be the right one. You convince yourself that you just haven‘t found the right project yet that is best for you. And off you go in search of another project.
But what are the criteria upon which you will choose the next ‘project’?
Well if you don‘t stop to find out what is laying below the surface of your conscious thoughts, what is driving your actions, then you wont know.
You will use the same criteria you have used your whole life…the one that commits you to reinforcing the unconscious and potential limiting belief.”
I’d like to continue today with…
Application
Without thinking about your criteria (beliefs) about how you make a decision you’ll end up taking another step reinforcing that belief. Reinforcing a belief that doesn‘t support you. You’ll weigh all the reasons for taking this step and convince yourself that it is best.
You’ll never ask yourself how you feel about this step. You’ll ignore your feelings. Slowly you’ll convince yourself it is the right way to go forward. You have finally sold yourself on the idea or at least your inner critic has.
So…now how does the future look for you?
Well that ‘project’ didn‘t work out did it? I know…it just wasn‘t the right one for you. Once again you have convinced yourself of all the reasons why it didn‘t work out. The areas you convince yourself most about are the areas where someone else had something to do with it. You start to blame the market, the people on the task, anyone or anything that you could use to scapegoat. Then you choose another ‘project.’ Explaining once again all the reasons why this one is finally the one – you just know it!
Throughout this process you have been slowly corroding your self-esteem, your self-respect and your self-love. You are at a point were even you don‘t believe in yourself anymore. Each step towards denial is a further blow to your self. Your life is now about fully committing to a belief that destroys you.
It is again at this point that you can either choose uncertainty or certainty. Certainty in that you are certain doing the same thing over again will destroy you or uncertainty where you move to a time in your life where you begin to get to know yourself more. You move to a time in your life where you commit to learning more about yourself and finding out what is brilliant about you.
You commit to discovering what‘s unique and special about you. You commit to being successful. You commit to feeling fantastic. You commit to walking tall and no longer comparing yourself with others. You commit to feeling alive. You commit to your personal success. You realize that committing to your personal goals is going to be a new way of going forward in your life. You recognize that to achieve this you need support. Don‘t forget you have that little inner beast talking to you all the time, telling you that this is too hard, go back to the old way. This is your past talking. Say to it “thank you for sharing, now be quiet.”
Start to write-up a list of people who can support you. Commit to telling them about your path forward. Design a plan of action; take steps to working out how to learn more about yourself. You’ll do great…for a few months.
Then one day you are tired and that inner beast of the past will try to get you to stop. It will try to convince you that this is not the best path forward. Your ability to keep it quite is slim and none…and slim just left town. Self doubt is slipping in. You start to think of other projects you could start-up with again. Same old patterns of thought are returning.
As Susan Powter say’s…”Stop the insanity!”
You still believe that you are not great. Let go of it. Call a friend, a coach a support person on your list. Take time out to care for yourself. Be still and let the moment pass as it will only be a moment. Then go back to your plan, look at your vision, see the vision of where you are going. Check in to see if your actions are aligned with your plan. Actions that are in alignment are a big sign that your commitment is aligned with where you want to go. Look at what you have achieved so far. Acknowledge yourself. Think about all the areas of your life that you are grateful for since you began working on your plan. Feel your energy shift. Recommit to your plan and check in right at this moment with how you are feeling.
Committing to ourselves is the most important thing we can do in life.
Consider the example of former South African President, Nelson Mandela who spent 27 years in prison. He was once asked how he could forgive his captors. He replied: “I realized one day, breaking rocks, that they could take everything away from me, everything, but my mind and heart. Now, those things I would have to give away, and I simply decided I would not give them away.” Even in a prison, Mandela found choices to make; choices that showed a commitment to freedom, to love, to independence and to moving forward. Fundamentally it showed a commitment to himself.
- If we don‘t invest in ourselves then how can we invest in others?
- If we don‘t commit to ourselves then how can we commit to anything in our life?
It must begin with us. If we are only trying to commit to ourselves then we are living in denial or we are not living in awareness. We do not truly believe in ourselves if we are simply trying. Simply trying is when we keep a small percentage available to us for failure so we feel okay when it happens. This however means that we are committing to personal failure rather than to personal success.
If you feel, and know, that the action to take will keep you moving forward is the right action, then use your mental strength and commit to it 100%. Any percentage allocated to error means you are still uncertain and there is doubt and doubt will become the focus of your pathway. You will seek out doubt along the way. It is this very doubt that you have followed all your life. It only leads to further doubt.
Think. Grow. Live!
Roland N. Gilbert
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