Be Decisive!

Indecision is a miserable state to be in and certainly is not a fruit of the simple life. The apostle James said the double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.

Never making a decision because you're afraid you'll make the wrong one will get you nowhere. How much time do you think we waste when we can't make up our minds?

We often labor over the choices before us when we just need to make a decision and let it stand. This may be a simple example, but think about it: When you stand in front of your closet in the morning looking at all your clothes, just choose something and put it on. Don't go back and forth until you make yourself late for work!


Chronic indecisiveness can be one of the toughest psychological demons to banish. Here are a few ways to help you pull the trigger when a big part of you would rather do anything but.

Forget About Always Appearing Smart

Plenty of talented people, even those who have made a killing, go to exhaustive lengths not to appear dumb. Actually, the smarter you are, the more likely your indecision is born of this anxiety. A kid building a start-up can be wrong, fail, and feel no shame: “I’m a kid… what do you expect?” Not so for someone with an established reputation to protect. This fear of shame is pernicious, mainly because it’s useless. Let it go.

Trust Your Gut (It’s Savvier Than You Think)

What we refer to as “our gut” is actually a wealth of knowledge infused with validated facts that you aren't in touch with until you reach a critical crossroad. Or as my grandfather use to say: “If you don’t make the right decision, you can make the decision right.”


Accept The Limits Of Analysis

The road to hell, we’re told, is paved with good intentions! Avoid paralysis by analysis. Act, examine your results, make adjustments, and move on. 

Flip A Coin

William James said “When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.”  He was dead-on! If you feel like a hung jury that’s still deadlocked, use a coin to break your mental logjam.

Remember: Indecision is all about avoiding: 

 1. the choice between two negative alternatives, one of which has to be adopted, or 

2. the choice between two fairly equal courses of action. In both cases, the solution may well be heads or tails.

Let me encourage you to start making decisions without second-guessing yourself or worrying about the choices you make. Don't be double-minded or wishy-washy because doubting your decisions after you make them will steal the enjoyment from everything you do. 

Make the best decisions you can and trust God with the results.

Think, Grow. Live!

Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with Master Mind  Groups. Through  Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. 

Contact  Roland at 800-974-3692 or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if  coaching is right for you.

 http://www.guoybas.blogspot.com/
 http://www.perennialgrowth.com/

3 Keys to Better Small Business Success!

Most coaching clients who are in business for themselves come to coaching because they have goals they need help achieving. These goals can include increasing sales, income, or efficiency; becoming better at time management, or creating better work life balance. All GREAT goals, to be sure and worthy of their attention.

But regardless of the tenacity, determination and ability of the client, if they try to accomplish their own personal "Mount Everest" without a firm footing at base camp, their particular journey on the road to the top will probably take longer and have more detours than they had originally imagined.

Wonder why? In this world of instant and constant "connectedness"  with Blackberries, cell phones and computers making being out of contact virtually impossible (pun intended), many small business owners are run ragged. They find themselves reacting to everyone else’s agenda, instead of setting their own.

For example, there’s the young realtor I worked with recently who answers every call on her cell phone, regardless of where she is or what she is doing. Her more seasoned counterparts look on knowingly, wondering how long it will take her to learn the importance of screening her calls, putting her phone on vibrate, or better yet, giving out the office’s phone number instead of the her own.

Many small business owners believe they are so pressed for time that they can’t take an hour to go to the doctor, for a growing cyst that might be cancerous. Others believe that their customer’s emergency — due to poor planning on their customer’s part — is now theirs as they run around trying to solve a problem they didn't create. And still others insist that their families are their priority while a closer examination using time as the measurement shows that this just isn't the case. (sound familiar?)

For these small business owners, extreme self care is the first step in wrestling back control of their lives, before they start the climb up their personal Everest. Too busy reacting to others agendas instead of their own, demonstrating little or no ability to say no, and no tangible evidence of any respect for their own boundaries, they are usually exhausted before they even beginning trying to make the climb. Before starting such a journey, it helps to be healthy, centered, focused, energetic and surrounded by people and environments that will support them and not deter them.

That’s where self care comes in.

1. Simplifying your life. Create an absolute yes list and put the rest of your activities on hold. This can be very difficult to do, for a variety of reasons. First, the people around you won’t like it when you draw back and stop doing what they currently depend on you to do. But it’s essential, because if you don’t, you’ll be too busy to practice self care.
2. Begin putting yourself first, instead of second, third, fourth, fifth and last. While some might see this as extreme, many people won’t practice self care to the level it should be practiced unless they are given permission to do so.
3. Once you become better at working your “no,” muscle, at naming, sticking to and enforcing personal boundaries, then and only then can you take the third step in self care, which is getting nourished. This can come from a variety of sources: friends, family, food, activities, exercise, and home and work environments.

After business owners and entrepreneurs take these three steps, their chances of reaching their personal Everest increase dramatically, often with fewer detours and surprises. That’s not to say that there won’t be any surprises, because no one can control all the forces around us, be it weather, other climbers, or something else. If my past experience is any indicator, I know that as some of you read this, you’re thinking that you don’t have time to practice self care. Your goal is so important that it can’t wait.

But ask any successful business owner or climber and they’ll confirm that it takes longer to reach a goal if you haven’t done everything that’s demanded at base camp. The smartest thing you can do is take the "meta-view"  look at the big picture, by taking a step back. An added bonus of doing so is that your life will be more balanced, you’ll have more room for the things you really want in your life and you’ll feel a lot better when you do begin working on your goal.

Once you begin looking after yourself, it will be hard to go back to what you now see was a crazy, out of control life. It really is all about the journey and not the destination, because what’s the point of reaching Everest if the trip, even up to base camp, leaves you exhausted and spent? And equally as important, if you do manage to get there, but feel worn out from it all, how much energy will you have for celebrating the momentous event? And as leaders in the human potential field tell us; stopping to celebrate and acknowledge our victory is imperative, as doing so psychologically spurs us on to even bigger and better things.

Business owners and entrepreneurs who practice self care by exercising, eating well and getting enough sleep find that they get more done than their counterparts who work longer hours, eat lunch off the sides of their desks and keep insane hours. Practicing these steps will increase the chances that you’re around to enjoy your business over the long haul.

What "priorities" are keeping you from experiencing a better "work/life" balance?

Have your "deadlines" become your "deathline"?

Think, Grow. Live!

Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with Master Mind  Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact  Roland at 800-974-3692 or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if  coaching is right for you.

 http://www.guoybas.blogspot.com/
 http://www.perennialgrowth.com/

Why We Choose The Wrong Men

Sometimes after a woman has endured two or more failed relationships she may utter words to the effect, 

"I don't know why I keep attracting the wrong men." 

There is nothing wrong with attracting the wrong men because, honestly, you really don't have total control over ALL the types of men you attract. Some may beg to differ and that's fine. Men, most men, are attracted to women. For every woman there is a man or men who are attracted to her. However, as a woman, only you have control over the men you choose. Experience has taught me that the vast majority of failed relationships were not with the men who were attracted to you; they were with the men you chose! Now, a silly counter-argument here might be, he was attracted to you and it was he who initiated the contact. True, but my initial assertion still stands — you have control. His initiating contact has nothing to do with you going ahead and being receptive to his advances. If you didn't want to you would not have reciprocated or accepted his advances.

Do you walk into a store and purchase an item? Don't you examine it first to make sure it's not torn, worn, dirty, or has some defect? You may even try it on to make sure it fits you depending on your purchase. My point is you don't go into the store grab the darn thing and go home with it only to discover that if you had taken the time to examine it you would have seen the defects or that it just didn't fit you properly. It is the same with men, not exactly store items, but it takes time (examine) to know them and you need to take that time to know them. And no, you should not 'try on' men like that. Will taking the time necessary to know a man prevent him for cheating on you, telling you lies, and turning out to be a dirt-bag? No, but there's a valid argument that by learning about him before jumping into bed it reduces your chances of picking the wrong one.

A question you might ask is; how do I pick the right guy? Simply, you have to do your homework ladies! 

You know your:

*dress size

*shoe size

*bra/pantie size

But have no clue as to your "man size"!! 

*How much "man" do I really need?
*Is there a "too much" threshold for me?
*Do I need a "Strong(er)" personality, because "my" personality is "strong, or  should I find someone more "quieter"? 

Not knowing these types of answers before you start "looking" is like going to the grocery store hungry...we either end up with a bunch of "crap" in our cart we didn't mean to buy or we find ourselves "snacking" while we are shopping!!

Finding "a" relationship is relatively easy; choosing the "correct" relationship takes knowing what your own personal "size" is, or what "fits" you BEFORE you start shopping!

a smooth talking man with good looks, a nice body and a nice car is simply a smooth talking man with good looks, a nice body and a nice car until you get to know him. You only get to know someone after spending time learning about them. If his physical appearance and material possessions are your only focus then you are that person standing in the flower garden seeing the roses but not its thorns. You see what you want to see and hear what you want to hear. Everyone wants to create that wonderful unforgettable first impression and some are willing to do whatever it takes to create it. The superficial game is played by almost everyone. You have to be able to see beyond the superficial, look for depth and substance and demand more. Hold yourself responsible and accountable for finding more in him. Talk is cheap.

Picking the wrong man has a lot to do with what you are looking for versus what he has to offer, what you expect versus what you accept, and trusting men versus trusting your own judgment. However, your own judgment must be based on standards and expectations.

Do you know your "man size"?

What have past relationships taught you about what "fits" you?

Think, Grow. Live!

Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with Master Mind  Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact  Roland at 800-974-3692 or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if  coaching is right for you.

 http://www.guoybas.blogspot.com/
 http://www.perennialgrowth.com/

Attracting the Man of Your Dreams!

The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.

Helen Keller

Science has established that we are more than just physical beings. The physical world around us is composed of constant molecular movement that is influenced by our thoughts and actions. The study of quantum physics suggests that we are the creators of our own lives. This means that we can make positive adjustments in our life to create whatever we desire.

The process of attracting desired people into our lives involves believing in how much possibility the universe holds for us as individuals. Most people have limited beliefs and perceptions on what they truly deserve and are worthy of in a relationship from their childhood. Having these limited perceptions hamper your potential experiences in life.

Once you make a commitment with yourself to really know what you want and desire from the man of your dreams, then you can ignite the source of attraction!!!

By clearing your mind and writing out on paper your thoughts and desires on your "Mr. Right", you can open up the energy that will bring forward all your wishes.

This "process" focuses on defining the qualities in detail of what you want in a man and a long lasting relationship. This should be done during the two weeks leading up to the full moon. Not that I am a huge nature buff or believer in astrology, BUT, I do know that the moon's gravitational pull has a very unique impact on the planet, and specifically all water. Since our bodies our made up of approx 75% water it doesn't hurt to work WITH this force as opposed to against it! You will do it every night before bed for seven consecutive nights. It should be the last thing you do before falling asleep on each night. You will need seven pieces of paper, each marked at the top with one of these topics:

• What I want in a man emotionally
• What I want in a man spiritually
• What I want in a man physically
• What I want in a man sexually
• What I want in a man intellectually
• What I want in a man financially
• What I want in a man socially and politically

Once you've relaxed in bed, you can write as much as possible on each topic. You should be emptying your mind completely with any thoughts or desires personal to you.

On the next six nights, you must read over your list, and keep refining, reviewing, adding or subtracting until you are 100% satisfied with it.

Now keep the pages near you as you sleep each night, as words have tremendous energy and work on many levels. This exercise will be of great benefit as you're engaging your mind, body, spirit, intellect and emotions with the powerful words that you have written. As you sleep, new and vital energy will be shifted into your physical experience.

In the morning of the eighth day, wrap your completed list in a piece of fabric and store it in an undisturbed place until the next full moon. You will use your list when you pray, when you fear, when you doubt, and when you want to give up hope. Your list is a reminder of the energy you have put out into the universe and the expectations of a return!

Clearing Clutter to Attract Mr. Right

Another area to consider is Clearing the clutter in your home and office! "Clearing" can create long lasting relationships! When there is a mess, or stagnant energy blocked in your surroundings, it brings up a barrier between you and meeting someone special. As you know, the natural energy of a woman needs to be flowing gracefully without interruption to be its most effective!

Having a pile of dirty clothes and old magazines stacked in a big pile in your bedroom can be harmful for your love life. If you're a collector or have lots of things that you can't get rid of, then proper organization is the key.

When clutter builds up in different areas of your home, it creates an imbalance in your life and energy. This prevents you from reaching your ideal life potential. Once you take action and clear your personal space, you will notice a difference in how you feel, and suddenly your mind will be clearer, and you can focus on attracting a healthy long lasting relationship.

Do you know exactly what you want and how to recognize it once you have it?

Do you have unrecognized "clutter" in you home or life?

Think, Grow. Live!

 Roland N. Gilbert

 Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with Master Mind  Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better,     find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact  Roland at 800-974-3692   or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if  coaching is right for you.

 http://www.guoybas.blogspot.com/
 http://www.perennialgrowth.com/

Are You Striving for Success or Excellence?

Why do people fail after achieving success? This is the biggest concern of every successful individual, the fear of losing the success.

Success is often measured by comparison to others. Excellence, on the other hand, is all about being the best we can be and maximizing our gifts, talents and abilities to perform at our highest potential. 

We live in a world that loves to focus on success and loves to compare. We are all guilty of doing this. However, to be our best we must focus more on excellence and less on success. We must focus on being the best we can be and realise that our greatest competition is not someone else but ourselves. 

Golfing legend Jack Nicklaus would simply focus on playing the best he could play against the course he was playing. While others were competing against Jack, he was competing against the course and himself. 

The same can be said for Apple’s approach with the iPod, iPhone and iPad. When they created these products they didn’t focus on the competition. Instead they focused on creating the best product they could create. As a result, rather than measuring themselves against others they have become the measuring stick. 

We have a choice as individuals, organizations and teams. We can focus on success and spend our life looking around to see how our competition is doing, or we can look straight ahead towards the vision of greatness we have for ourselves and our teams.

We can look at competition as the standard or as an indicator of our progress towards our own standards. We can chase success or we can embark on a quest for excellence and focus 100% of our energy to become our best... and let success find us. 

Ironically, when our goal is excellence the outcome and by product is often success.

Are you achieving excellence in every area of you life?

What factors are hindering you from achieving excellence?

Think. Grow. Live!


Roland N. Gilbert


Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. 

Contact Roland at             800-974-3692       or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if coaching is right for you.

www.guoybas.blogspot.com

www.perennialgrowth.com

8 Ways Men Can Improve Their Relationships Today!

Good relationships don't just happen. I've heard many of my clients state that, "If I have to work at it, then it's not the right relationship." This is not a true statement, any more than it's true that you don't have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.

Fellas, I've discovered 8 choices you can make today that will not only improve your current relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one.


1. Improve your communication 

There is nothing more important in a relationship than communication. The more you communicate with your woman, the less likely the two of you will get into arguments because you both will be able to talk about your problems instead of holding them in. Remember, if you can’t communicate, you can’t even begin to support one another in a relationship. Conversation dispels confusion!!


2. Take responsibility for your own happiness Your first priority in a relationship - no matter what kind of a relationship you are in - is to be yourself. This means taking responsibility for your own feelings and needs instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure. Learn to treat yourself with kindness, compassion and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Don't lose yourself just because you are in a relationship.  To do that, you'll need to love yourself by ensuring you have a strong sense of self-worth and esteem. 


3. Show her gratitude instead of complaining 

Practice being grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Constant complaining creates more stress in a relationship, while gratitude creates emotional, spiritual and physical health.


4. Laugh together 

Mutual laughter is an essential component of a strong and healthy relationship. Romance is much better if you can see humor in the little things and can have a laugh together. So, make a conscious effort to incorporate more humor and play into your daily interactions with your woman and be willing to make a fool of yourself sometimes just to put a smile on her face.


5. Set common goals together 

Look for anything that’s common between the two of you and talk about ways to work toward that aspiration together. Sit down with your partner and set new goals., i.e health, comfort, happiness and so on. Share what you want your life to be about, where you want to end up and what these things mean to you.


6. Give her some space 

When you love someone, you want to spend as much time with them as possible; however, it’s equally important to have some space and to spend some time apart every once in a while. Being apart not only allows you some freedom, but it will also allow the two of you to miss each other and is an ideal way to keep your relationship interesting.


7. Be spontaneous 

You can ensure that romance never goes out of your relationship by doing things like sending her flowers for no reason, writing her a love note, or preparing her favorite meal for her when she least expects it. Being spontaneous also means trying new things out of the ordinary together to keep the relationship interesting.


8. Improve your sex life 

If you really want to give your relationship staying power, give a little extra effort in the bedroom. There is no limit to the number of ways to have sex, so use your imagination and come up with as many new positions as you desire. There is always something that you haven’t tried, so don't be afraid to mix things up in bed and awaken her sexuality.

All relationships need a little pick-me-up sometimes--even the best of them. If you feel like your relationship isn’t quite what it used to be or would like to take it up a notch, try these 8 things today and keep your fire burning.

Think. Grow. Live!


Roland N. Gilbert


Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. 

Contact Roland at             800-974-3692       or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if coaching is right for you.

www.guoybas.blogspot.com

www.perennialgrowth.com

Are You Ready to Blossom?

I am always amazed when something that I hear or read has a really profound effect on me. It is like I am awakened to a new state of consciousness.

A number of years ago I read the quote by Anais Nin “And the day came [for the rose] when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”. She was talking to me. My inner voice had been telling me for a while that there was more to express and discover about myself. I had ignored it with all kinds of rationalizations. This quote jolted me into admitting that the time was now to make changes that made me feel good about myself. The first step was to start taking better care of my body by commiting to a consistent exercise program. It has been over ten years since I made the commitment to myself. I like that I am doing this for me.

Most of us do not know what we are capable of until we begin to stretch ourselves. Usually we limit ourselves with our beliefs. My limiting personal phrases have been: you are too old or you should have done that earlier or you have too much to do. I have learned that when I commit to something I also find the time to follow through.

When we begin to admit that there are areas in our life where we are "tight in the bud" we start seeing new possibilities and finding ways to begin to blossom. After I had success with the first step I began to add more steps because it felt good to expect more of myself. Being a big procrastinator I have had to push through my excuses not to do something.

In addition to being painful, staying "tight in the bud" leads to boredom, tiredness and a lack of vibrancy. I think that it is especially important to recharge ones life in the years of forty-five and above. By then much of life and thinking has settled into a predictable routine. It is also when our inner voice becomes louder and louder urging us to stretch ourselves and to set forth in new directions. Those who heed their inner voice and take the risk to bloom discover that their life has become vibrant.

Are you ready to Blossom?

Think, Grow. Live!

Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact Roland at             800-974-3692       or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if coaching is right for you.

http://www.guoybas.blogspot.com/
http://www.perennialgrowth.com/