Thursday, June 14, 2012

65 Ways to Make Her Feel Special

Submitted by JONATHAN

Do you want that special lady in your life to feel special? Trust me when I tell you that small things mean a lot! Over time, it’s easy to forget the little things that contribute so much to a happy and fulfilling relationship.

From time to time, it’s a good idea to look closely at the way we treat our partner and make sure that our actions accurately convey our true feelings. Here’s a list of 65 things that should never be overlooked in a relationship.
 If you think I’m wrong, just ask her:
1. Regularly express to her that you need and value her.
2. Do things that make you laugh together.
3. Compliment her for her special qualities and be specific.
4. Put your arms around her when she needs comfort.
5. Speak respectfully, don’t demean her or hurt her feelings.
6. Give her time to be with her friends.
7. Take regular walks hand-in-hand.
8. Be enthusiastic over things that she’s excited about.
9. Do something you think she wants done before she asks.
10. Discuss changes with her first before you make them.
11. Show interest in the relationship and the things she values.
12. Allow her to teach you things without being defensive.
13. Let go of the small stuff.
14. Be a good listener and value what she says.
15. Get away from the routine to spend time together.
16. Go shopping with her without watching the clock.
17. Make her breakfast and clean up afterward.
18. Set specific relationship goals to achieve together.
19. Act like you are partners in all areas life.
20. Don’t take her for granted, always be polite. 
21. Admit your mistakes, and ask for forgiveness.
22. Defend her to others, especially to your family.
23. Don’t belittle her intelligence.
24. Scratch her back, rub her feet, and massage her neck.
25. Be especially helpful when she is not feeling well.
26. When she asks how your day went, give her details.
26. Never argue over money, it will damage your relationship.
28. Don’t embarrass her in front of others.
29. Make eye contact when the two of you are talking.
30. Show that you prefer her company over all others.
31. Give her your full attention whenever possible.
33. Never flirt with another woman.
34. Brag about her and your relationship to others.
35. Surprise her with a card and flowers.
36. Call her when you know you are going to be late.
37. Give her your undivided attention when she’s talking.
38. Never compare her unfavorably with others.
39. Take care of yourself, It shows you care.
40. Be supportive. Help her to achieve her goals.
41. Run errands without complaining.
42. Sit close to her, even when you’re just watching TV.
43. Include her when you make plans.
44. Do things that make her feel cherished as a woman.
45. Build trust into your relationship.
Surprise her with a 15+ second kiss.
47. Stay in good of shape so she’s proud to be with you.
48. Be kinder to her than you are to strangers.
49. Make sure she feels valued above everyone else.
50. Continue to court her and date her.
51. Show affection for her in front of friends.
52. Hold her close when she is hurt or discouraged.
53. Surprise her with an unexpected gift.
54. Don’t forget to hold her hand in public.
55. Honor her and support her dignity.
56. Don’t dishonor her by eyeballing other women.
57. Fix dinner for her sometimes.
58. Be sympathetic when she’s feeling down.
59. Don’t ignore the small things that bother her.
60. Do things around the house that she wants done.
61. Tell her and show her that you love her every day.
62. When you’re away call or email often.
63. Show her affection without sexual intentions.
64. Show her affection with sexual intentions.
65. Let her see you reading and applying this list.
Do you have something to add?
Think. Grow. Live!

Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact Roland at             800-974-3692       or to determine if coaching is right for you.

Monday, June 11, 2012

67 Ways to Make Him Feel Like Superman!

Men and women have many of the same needs, but they tend to be weighted differently. In relationships, we all want to feel loved and respected. However the way that is accomplished is somewhat gender specific. It’s the Mars, Venus syndrome.

When a man has the respect of his mate, it actually makes him want to become a better person. When it comes to relationships, feeling respected is a huge issue for most men. So, while some of the items on this list are very similar to the ones found in 65 Ways to Make Her feel Special, you will notice that the list leans more toward respect than toward love. Realize that for a man, the two are basically synonymous.
In relationships, most men are easily encouraged. Your approval is a powerful motivator and applying some of these simple steps will yield great results:
1. Communicate with him respectfully.
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Try to understand his reasons, even when you disagree.
4. Ask for his help.
5. Let go of the small stuff.
6. Tell him you love and respect him, and that you like him.
7. Give him some space for his hobbies
8. Show him that you respect him.
9. When you go out together don’t bring up problems.
10. Focus your attention on what he’s doing right.
11. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
12. Be happy and positive when he comes home.
13. Give him half an hour to unwind after work.
14. Don’t allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully.
15. Defend him to any family member who tries to dishonor him.
16. Compliment his efforts above his performance.
17. Seek his advice when you face challenges.
18. Set and work on goals together.
19. Don’t over commit yourself, leave some time for him.
20. Be forgiving when he unintentionally offends you.
21. Find ways to show him you need him. Guys need to be needed.
22. Don’t fill his every spare moment with chores.
23. Peel away your pride and admit your mistakes.
24. Rub his neck and shoulders when he is stressed.
25. If he wants to talk, listen and ask viewpoint questions.
26. Express appreciation for his hard work.
27. Tell him you are proud of him for the person he is.
28. Give advice in a loving way; do not in a nag him.
29. Reserve some energy for him when he wants you sexually.
30. Don’t expect him to spend all his time on "fu-fu" projects.
31. Commend him for being a good man.
32. Brag about him to other people even when he’s not there.
33. Share your feelings with him but keep it abbreviated.
34. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
35. Honor him and show your respect in front of everyone.
36. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to.
37. Be his helper in whatever ways he needs it.
38. Accept that sometimes he just wants to be with you and not talk.
39. When he’s in a bad mood don’t crowd him.
40. Help him accomplish his goals.
41. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
42. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
43. Thank him for things he’s done around the house.
44. Don’t expect him to always notice everything you do.
45. Consult him before making important plans.
46. Let him sleep in when he can.
47. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical with him.
48. Initiate sex periodically but be responsive more often.
49. Get to the point in your discussions without endless details.
50. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out together.
51. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he misspeaks.
52. Don’t quarrel over words.
53. Be kind and courteous with him.
54. Don’t blame him every time things go wrong.
55. When he blows it don’t say, “I told you so.”
56. Never argue over money, he already feels responsible.
57. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him.
58. Praise his good decisions and minimize the bad ones.
59. Don’t expect him to read your mind, we’re not that smart.
60. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff.
61. Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.
62. When you’re angry don’t give him the silent treatment.
63. Look your best for him and make him proud to be seen with you.
64. Be his best cheer leader.
65. Acknowledge his successes in areas of everyday life.
66. Patiently teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
67. Thank him for just being himself.
Do you have something to add?
Think. Grow. Live!

Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact Roland at             800-974-3692       or to determine if coaching is right for you.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

He Who Findeth a Wife...

Did you know that according to Proverbs 18:14 "a man's spirit sustains him in sickness"? (Women don't try this at home because it only applies to men. In fact, the opposite is true for you. I'm sorry, ladies, but your spirit will fail you when you're ill.)

If the logic seems a bit strange to you, imagine my reaction when people tell me that by looking for a husband, a woman is going against God's plan for her life. After all, they cite, the Bible says in Proverbs 18:22 that "HE who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord." So the opposite must be true. Right???

Not so fast. I think we're drawing conclusions where's there's none to be had. Reading through Proverbs, it seems as though it was written as an instruction manual for men. In this book, for the most part, there aren't instructions that address women. Even the infamous Proverbs 31 is offering tips to men on how to identify a good wife. However, I do think both genders can benefit from the wisdom of Proverbs. So, perhaps verse 18:22 isn't telling women what not to do, but it is instead a reminder to men, who often times under value the blessings and benefits of marriage (especially in this day and age), that they should think differently about making a commitment to a woman. The scripture is encouraging men -- and that doesn't mean it's discouraging women, just as the other verses in Proverbs that use a "he" pronoun or that refer to men aren't discouraging the women to act on all the wise sayings in the book.

Most women who desire marriage are looking for it whether they acknowledge it or not. If you've ever signed up for ANY dating website, be it ChristianCafe, Eharmony or ChristianMingle you are pursuing love. If you ever said yes to a blind date set up by family or friends; if you ever attended a singles event in hopes of meeting someone; if you ever met a stranger and looked to see if their was a ring on his finger and when their wasn't batted your eyes, giggled or any of the other coy methods women use, you are actively looking for a husband. 

You may not launch your own website or go on national television to share your story, but you are still on a search. And that's okay because according to scripture once you find your spouse you'll receive favor from the Lord! And as all married couples will tell you, marriage is hard work, so you're definitely going to need favor from God.

Consider the Story of Ruth and Boaz. Naomi was a shrewd older woman who had seen a lot of life, and put together a plan to prod Boaz into proposing to Ruth. She knew men, and she gave Ruth specific instructions on everything she had to do. Fortunately, Ruth had the good sense to LISTEN to the older woman. According to the scripture, She perfumed herself, dressed in her best skirt n heels, and waited until Boaz had eaten a good meal (As most of you women know a man with a full stomach is MUCH easier to handle). When Boaz finally lay down to sleep, Ruth approached him where he lay on the threshing floor - and if you know your biblical history, someone always slept there at night until the grain was removed, to guard against thieves. 

'When Boaz had eaten and drunk, and he was in a contented mood, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of grain. Then she came stealthily and uncovered his feet, and lay down.' 

This action would seem strange unless you knew that in ancient times 'foot' was a euphemism for the male genital organ, as 'sandal' was for the female organ. Threshing floors at harvest time were often the scene of sexual encounters. 

Lying beside Boaz, Ruth suggested that he, as the go-el of Naomi’s family, should ‘cover her with his blanket’, a euphemism for marriage. She had the right to demand marriage of the go-el of her family, so that she could have the children that Israelite women longed for. Boaz happily agreed, but pointed out to her that there was another man who had that right, a closer relative even than himself. Boaz had to square matters with him before he could marry Ruth. He seems to have been at pains to do everything correctly, so that there could be no question about the legality of the marriage.

Is it "un-biblical" for a woman to ask a man for marriage?
What "traditions" today prevent that from happening?

Think. Grow. Live!

Roland N. Gilbert
Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance.
Contact Roland at             800-974-3692       or  to determine if coaching is right for you.