Be Decisive!

Indecision is a miserable state to be in and certainly is not a fruit of the simple life. The apostle James said the double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.

Never making a decision because you're afraid you'll make the wrong one will get you nowhere. How much time do you think we waste when we can't make up our minds?

We often labor over the choices before us when we just need to make a decision and let it stand. This may be a simple example, but think about it: When you stand in front of your closet in the morning looking at all your clothes, just choose something and put it on. Don't go back and forth until you make yourself late for work!


Chronic indecisiveness can be one of the toughest psychological demons to banish. Here are a few ways to help you pull the trigger when a big part of you would rather do anything but.

Forget About Always Appearing Smart

Plenty of talented people, even those who have made a killing, go to exhaustive lengths not to appear dumb. Actually, the smarter you are, the more likely your indecision is born of this anxiety. A kid building a start-up can be wrong, fail, and feel no shame: “I’m a kid… what do you expect?” Not so for someone with an established reputation to protect. This fear of shame is pernicious, mainly because it’s useless. Let it go.

Trust Your Gut (It’s Savvier Than You Think)

What we refer to as “our gut” is actually a wealth of knowledge infused with validated facts that you aren't in touch with until you reach a critical crossroad. Or as my grandfather use to say: “If you don’t make the right decision, you can make the decision right.”


Accept The Limits Of Analysis

The road to hell, we’re told, is paved with good intentions! Avoid paralysis by analysis. Act, examine your results, make adjustments, and move on. 

Flip A Coin

William James said “When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.”  He was dead-on! If you feel like a hung jury that’s still deadlocked, use a coin to break your mental logjam.

Remember: Indecision is all about avoiding: 

 1. the choice between two negative alternatives, one of which has to be adopted, or 

2. the choice between two fairly equal courses of action. In both cases, the solution may well be heads or tails.

Let me encourage you to start making decisions without second-guessing yourself or worrying about the choices you make. Don't be double-minded or wishy-washy because doubting your decisions after you make them will steal the enjoyment from everything you do. 

Make the best decisions you can and trust God with the results.

Think, Grow. Live!

Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with Master Mind  Groups. Through  Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. 

Contact  Roland at 800-974-3692 or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if  coaching is right for you.

 http://www.guoybas.blogspot.com/
 http://www.perennialgrowth.com/

3 Keys to Better Small Business Success!

Most coaching clients who are in business for themselves come to coaching because they have goals they need help achieving. These goals can include increasing sales, income, or efficiency; becoming better at time management, or creating better work life balance. All GREAT goals, to be sure and worthy of their attention.

But regardless of the tenacity, determination and ability of the client, if they try to accomplish their own personal "Mount Everest" without a firm footing at base camp, their particular journey on the road to the top will probably take longer and have more detours than they had originally imagined.

Wonder why? In this world of instant and constant "connectedness"  with Blackberries, cell phones and computers making being out of contact virtually impossible (pun intended), many small business owners are run ragged. They find themselves reacting to everyone else’s agenda, instead of setting their own.

For example, there’s the young realtor I worked with recently who answers every call on her cell phone, regardless of where she is or what she is doing. Her more seasoned counterparts look on knowingly, wondering how long it will take her to learn the importance of screening her calls, putting her phone on vibrate, or better yet, giving out the office’s phone number instead of the her own.

Many small business owners believe they are so pressed for time that they can’t take an hour to go to the doctor, for a growing cyst that might be cancerous. Others believe that their customer’s emergency — due to poor planning on their customer’s part — is now theirs as they run around trying to solve a problem they didn't create. And still others insist that their families are their priority while a closer examination using time as the measurement shows that this just isn't the case. (sound familiar?)

For these small business owners, extreme self care is the first step in wrestling back control of their lives, before they start the climb up their personal Everest. Too busy reacting to others agendas instead of their own, demonstrating little or no ability to say no, and no tangible evidence of any respect for their own boundaries, they are usually exhausted before they even beginning trying to make the climb. Before starting such a journey, it helps to be healthy, centered, focused, energetic and surrounded by people and environments that will support them and not deter them.

That’s where self care comes in.

1. Simplifying your life. Create an absolute yes list and put the rest of your activities on hold. This can be very difficult to do, for a variety of reasons. First, the people around you won’t like it when you draw back and stop doing what they currently depend on you to do. But it’s essential, because if you don’t, you’ll be too busy to practice self care.
2. Begin putting yourself first, instead of second, third, fourth, fifth and last. While some might see this as extreme, many people won’t practice self care to the level it should be practiced unless they are given permission to do so.
3. Once you become better at working your “no,” muscle, at naming, sticking to and enforcing personal boundaries, then and only then can you take the third step in self care, which is getting nourished. This can come from a variety of sources: friends, family, food, activities, exercise, and home and work environments.

After business owners and entrepreneurs take these three steps, their chances of reaching their personal Everest increase dramatically, often with fewer detours and surprises. That’s not to say that there won’t be any surprises, because no one can control all the forces around us, be it weather, other climbers, or something else. If my past experience is any indicator, I know that as some of you read this, you’re thinking that you don’t have time to practice self care. Your goal is so important that it can’t wait.

But ask any successful business owner or climber and they’ll confirm that it takes longer to reach a goal if you haven’t done everything that’s demanded at base camp. The smartest thing you can do is take the "meta-view"  look at the big picture, by taking a step back. An added bonus of doing so is that your life will be more balanced, you’ll have more room for the things you really want in your life and you’ll feel a lot better when you do begin working on your goal.

Once you begin looking after yourself, it will be hard to go back to what you now see was a crazy, out of control life. It really is all about the journey and not the destination, because what’s the point of reaching Everest if the trip, even up to base camp, leaves you exhausted and spent? And equally as important, if you do manage to get there, but feel worn out from it all, how much energy will you have for celebrating the momentous event? And as leaders in the human potential field tell us; stopping to celebrate and acknowledge our victory is imperative, as doing so psychologically spurs us on to even bigger and better things.

Business owners and entrepreneurs who practice self care by exercising, eating well and getting enough sleep find that they get more done than their counterparts who work longer hours, eat lunch off the sides of their desks and keep insane hours. Practicing these steps will increase the chances that you’re around to enjoy your business over the long haul.

What "priorities" are keeping you from experiencing a better "work/life" balance?

Have your "deadlines" become your "deathline"?

Think, Grow. Live!

Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with Master Mind  Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact  Roland at 800-974-3692 or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if  coaching is right for you.

 http://www.guoybas.blogspot.com/
 http://www.perennialgrowth.com/

Are You Striving for Success or Excellence?

Why do people fail after achieving success? This is the biggest concern of every successful individual, the fear of losing the success.

Success is often measured by comparison to others. Excellence, on the other hand, is all about being the best we can be and maximizing our gifts, talents and abilities to perform at our highest potential. 

We live in a world that loves to focus on success and loves to compare. We are all guilty of doing this. However, to be our best we must focus more on excellence and less on success. We must focus on being the best we can be and realise that our greatest competition is not someone else but ourselves. 

Golfing legend Jack Nicklaus would simply focus on playing the best he could play against the course he was playing. While others were competing against Jack, he was competing against the course and himself. 

The same can be said for Apple’s approach with the iPod, iPhone and iPad. When they created these products they didn’t focus on the competition. Instead they focused on creating the best product they could create. As a result, rather than measuring themselves against others they have become the measuring stick. 

We have a choice as individuals, organizations and teams. We can focus on success and spend our life looking around to see how our competition is doing, or we can look straight ahead towards the vision of greatness we have for ourselves and our teams.

We can look at competition as the standard or as an indicator of our progress towards our own standards. We can chase success or we can embark on a quest for excellence and focus 100% of our energy to become our best... and let success find us. 

Ironically, when our goal is excellence the outcome and by product is often success.

Are you achieving excellence in every area of you life?

What factors are hindering you from achieving excellence?

Think. Grow. Live!


Roland N. Gilbert


Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. 

Contact Roland at             800-974-3692       or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if coaching is right for you.

www.guoybas.blogspot.com

www.perennialgrowth.com

Are You Ready to Blossom?

I am always amazed when something that I hear or read has a really profound effect on me. It is like I am awakened to a new state of consciousness.

A number of years ago I read the quote by Anais Nin “And the day came [for the rose] when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”. She was talking to me. My inner voice had been telling me for a while that there was more to express and discover about myself. I had ignored it with all kinds of rationalizations. This quote jolted me into admitting that the time was now to make changes that made me feel good about myself. The first step was to start taking better care of my body by commiting to a consistent exercise program. It has been over ten years since I made the commitment to myself. I like that I am doing this for me.

Most of us do not know what we are capable of until we begin to stretch ourselves. Usually we limit ourselves with our beliefs. My limiting personal phrases have been: you are too old or you should have done that earlier or you have too much to do. I have learned that when I commit to something I also find the time to follow through.

When we begin to admit that there are areas in our life where we are "tight in the bud" we start seeing new possibilities and finding ways to begin to blossom. After I had success with the first step I began to add more steps because it felt good to expect more of myself. Being a big procrastinator I have had to push through my excuses not to do something.

In addition to being painful, staying "tight in the bud" leads to boredom, tiredness and a lack of vibrancy. I think that it is especially important to recharge ones life in the years of forty-five and above. By then much of life and thinking has settled into a predictable routine. It is also when our inner voice becomes louder and louder urging us to stretch ourselves and to set forth in new directions. Those who heed their inner voice and take the risk to bloom discover that their life has become vibrant.

Are you ready to Blossom?

Think, Grow. Live!

Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact Roland at             800-974-3692       or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if coaching is right for you.

http://www.guoybas.blogspot.com/
http://www.perennialgrowth.com/

How to Recognize and Increase Your Opportunities

Do you feel like the number of opportunities available to you is starting to dwindle? Does it seem like there are fewer and fewer chances for personal and financial growth because things are pushing in all around you?

Is that reality or just your perception?

What if I said that each of us is constantly surrounded by limitless opportunities, but that they often go unrecognized. Do you think that could be true in your case?

What kind of opportunities are you looking for? Do you want to expand your income, find a partner, start a new career, grow your consciousness, or establish some meaningful business or personal contacts? Ask yourself this:

What does opportunity look like?

That is an important question to ask, don’t you think? No matter what kinds of opportunities you are looking for, if you can’t identify them, then they are very likely to sneak past you unnoticed. When seeking opportunity, most people’s search criteria is so narrow in focus that it can essentially blind them to what is right in front of their face. It’s the old “can’t see the forest for the trees” scenario.

At other times, the opportunity itself is hidden from view but there are visible clues that we can follow. In cases like this, we need to recognize and follow the clues that will lead us to the opportunity we are seeking.  When looking for gold, miners don’t expect to find it just laying around on the surface of the ground. So how do they know where to look? They search for clues such as favorable rock formations, or deposits of certain metallic ores. When they find the right clues, then they take a closer look.

Sometimes opportunity is disguised as something else. There’s an old saying that goes like this: “The reason most people fail to recognize opportunity is because it often comes disguised as hard work.”

Whatever the case, if we broaden our parameters a bit, and use a little imagination, we can train ourselves to see opportunities that were previously hidden from our view. Let’s consider where opportunity is most likely to be found.

People are your greatest source of opportunity!

Regardless of what kind of opportunity you are looking for, there is someone, somewhere, who is in a position to help you. If you have a service to offer, there is someone who needs that service. If you have a product to sell, or an order to fill, It doesn’t matter what that product is or what you need to fill your order, somewhere out there are buyers and sellers that can help you.

The kind of opportunity you are seeking really makes no difference. Whether it is in the realm of products, services, guidance, assistance, or knowledge, your quest will end when you find the right person or group of people. People represent your greatest source of opportunities. Let’s take this concept and drill down a little bit more to make sure we understand how to use this resource.

What kind of questions are you asking?

Obviously, finding the right opportunity requires that we ask the right questions. Asking the right questions will ultimately lead us to the right people. This puts an entirely different spin on our search. Now, instead of looking for opportunity directly, we are looking for people. What kind of people? Well, it all depends on the kind of opportunity we are seeking.

If you are looking for employment, then start by looking for people with businesses that are still thriving, even in this economy. Don’t start out looking for the exact position that you would like to have, that’s too specific. If your search is too narrow, you may miss out on an opportunity for an even better position than you anticipated. So find the people whose businesses are thriving and look for a way that you can add value to their business. Be creative, and when you come up with a presentable idea, run it by them. Even if they don’t buy into your idea, they are likely to be impressed enough to offer you something else.

Your goal should be to become a viable asset to your employer by adding value to their business. The more valuable you are to them, the more opportunities will open up for you.

See yourself as a valuable asset

Your self-image will make a huge difference in the type of opportunities you attract to yourself. If you see yourself as a valuable asset, and you present yourself as such, others will see you that way as well. You never ever want to come across as needy or desperate. This is true whether you are looking for a job, a mate, or a business partner. Self-confidence encourages people to have confidence in you. Opportunities come to those who instill confidence.

It can be difficult to come across with self-confidence when you are in urgent need of the right opportunity. For someone who has been out of work for a while, with bills piling up, they may feel desperate. It’s extremely difficult to project the right image while harboring feelings of desperation. This is one of those situations where learning some specific life skills can help to overcome the mentality of scarcity.

Focus on creating opportunity for others

Some of your best opportunities will be born from your desire to create opportunity for others. This has been the driving force of many successful web based businesses. Let’s say that you have written a content rich ebook of incredible value, and you want to share it with as many people as possible. In order to accomplish that, you decide to price it well below the value of its contents. So you have created an opportunity for others to benefit from your hard work very inexpensively. Could you take it a step further?

What if you offered your customers an opportunity to share your book with their friends and earn a 70% commission in the process? Now you have created value and opportunity on two different levels. There is no way to foresee what kind of future opportunities will grow from an arrangement like this. One thing I do know is that this very strategy has launched thousands of successful internet businesses. Creating opportunity attracts even greater opportunities.

Always put people ahead of business

It is natural to want to help those that you like and respect. Work at building relationships with people and opportunities will follow. This is the principle behind the success of major social sites like twitter and facebook. It’s about relationships, and relationships are a give-and-take arrangement. Many business opportunities have come from these social sites, but the relationship came first.

The same principles apply to almost every aspect of life. If you are looking for opportunities, focus on establishing relationships and creating value first. Stay open to mutual opportunities and don’t be afraid to be generous. When you look for ways to help others you become a magnet for increased personal opportunities.

So look around, opportunity is knocking – are you willing to open the door and let it in?

Did you discover any hidden opportunities?
Are there untapped resources that came to mind?

Think. Grow. Live!

Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance.

Contact Roland at             800-974-3692       or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com  to determine if coaching is right for you. www.perennialgrowth.com

Success - Is it Worth the Risk?

Risk-taking is scary for most of us because there is always the potential for loss. We’ve been taught to be careful and avoid taking any unnecessary risks. Instead, we are cautioned to play it safe and just take baby steps toward our dreams.

While this approach does tend to feel safer there are also some serious downsides. For one, you can’t build momentum by holding yourself back. In fact, the longer we hold back, the harder it is to keep moving forward.  Without forward momentum, inertia kicks in until our progress comes to a screeching halt.

The risk factor

Have you ever noticed that most successful people have one thing in common?  Nine times out of ten there was some degree of risk involved in their success. In one way or another, those “successful people” usually feel like they needed to take a chance in order to succeed.

Believe it or not, risk is not such a terrible thing if you view it from the right perspective.  Most people look at it from the perspective of what they stand to lose if it doesn’t work out.  But we also need to ask “what do I stand to gain if it DOES work out?”

Is it worth the risk?

Here’s a simple process to determine which risks might be worth taking. Use the following six criteria to analyze the situation BEFORE you jump in and make a final decision.

1) What do you stand to gain? With any risk, you’ll want to first look at the potential benefits.  Make a list of what you stand to gain from moving forward and include as many details as possible. Consider every possible positive benefit you stand to receive. Make sure to consider the financial, emotional and physical upside. What’s the best case scenario?

2) What are the possible negative consequences? Along with the positive benefits, there are always a few possible negative consequences. That’s why they call it RISK. Make another list of these, again thinking about all the possible things that could go wrong, and what would happen if they did. Could you handle it? What’s the worst case scenario?

3) Balance, balance, balance. Now, compare the two lists and see which one has the strongest likelihood of coming to fruition.  Would the gains be worth the risk?  Would you be able to handle the negative consequences if they did happen?  Are there any options for a middle ground decision that would minimize the risk without derailing the momentum? Should you break it into phases so you have an exit strategy, or should you just go for it with all you’ve got?

4) How realistic are your fears? Take another look at your list of negative consequences and ask yourself how likely they are to happen.  The majority of the time you’ll probably find that your fears don’t have much real substance – they’re just fears.  Evaluate each possibility carefully and determine whether it’s a real threat or an expression of some unrelated fear.

5) Go with your gut. After carefully weighing the pros and cons, you should have a solid sense of whether you should take the risk now, or lay a little more groundwork first.  There is no shame in deciding to hold back if you feel you can’t handle the negative consequences right now!  Remember, you can always re-evaluate the same risk at a later time to see if conditions are more favorable.

6) Now ask yourself – Why? What is your motive for considering this course of action? Is it in harmony with what you know to be right, or is it possible that greed or selfishness might be influencing you? Understanding your own motives will help you get very clear about what you should do. Always move toward the greater good.

Get yourself primed for action

By getting into the habit of evaluating risks in this way, you will empower yourself with the confidence to push through hesitation and move steadily toward a successful outcome. In the long run, confidence and determination will be a huge factor. If you are going to take a risk, getting your mindset right first will maximize your chances for success. That brings us to…

7) Don’t hold anything back! If you decide to go for it, give it your best shot. The first six points were the pre-action phase. Once you launch into action avoid the temptation to second guess your decision. Doing so will only undermine your progress. You’re already in the game, so now it’s time to focus on making things happen.

How are you at assessing risk?
Do you think that risk and success go together?

Think. Grow. Live!

       

Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone, Skype and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact Roland at            800-974-3692     or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if coaching is right for you.

http://www.guoybas.blogspot.com/
http://www.perennialgrowth.com/