Thursday, March 29, 2012

7 Strategies For a More Meaningful Life!

Do you ever feel that perhaps there is some vital element of your life missing? When you hear others talk about their deepest passions, do you look at your own life and wonder why you don’t have those same feelings?
When someone speaks of how they find their work, marriage, or daily activities incredibly meaningful and satisfying, do you ever feel shortchanged? Have you ever thought: “What are my deepest passions, and why doesn’t my life feel very satisfying and meaningful?” Have such questions ever left you wondering…

Is there something seriously wrong with me?

Be encouraged, the vast majority of people wonder the very same thing in regard to one or more areas of their life. When we become aware of how other peoples life experience seems to be richer and more meaningful than ours, we can’t help wanting the same thing.
Deep down, we all know that life can and should be full of meaning and fulfillment. Then why is it that so few people actually find those things? Why does the richness of life seem to be missed by some, and fully experienced by others?

Could it be circumstances that make a meaningful life?

Is it because some people are just lucky enough to be born into a situation that makes it easy to have a richer life experience? Maybe they were raised by exceptionally loving and insightful parents. Perhaps they had a wise teacher or mentor who helped them unlock some kind of deeper understanding about life at a young age.
Certainly, any scenario similar to these could create an advantage. And obviously, this would not be an advantage that is shared by everyone. But when we interview people who are actually living lives full of meaning and passion, what do we find?

Very few had the advantage of favorable circumstances

In fact; many times they grew up in circumstances that were not advantageous at all. If anything, the exact opposite seems to be true. The personal history of many who are “successful at Life,” shows that circumstances of extreme disadvantage are often a part of their story.
As convenient as it might be to blame circumstances for our lot in life, I’m afraid that argument just won’t hold water. Well. If it’s not circumstances that make a meaningful life, then…

Maybe it’s genetics!

Even with very young children, we can easily see that some are more curious or determined than others. Is it possible that those are the qualities that translate into a more meaningful life in later years?
Again, what do we find by way of genetic characteristics when we examine the those who live lives of exceptional quality? Like any other cross section of people, we find a wide variety of personality traits. Some are introverts, and some are extroverts. There is no genetic pattern for a rich and meaningful life. In fact, being overly curious and determined can just as easily lead to a disappointing life as it can to a rewarding one.

If it’s not circumstances or genetics, then what is it?

Surely, there must be some common thread that is shared by people whose lives seem to be fuller and richer than the norm. There must be something that they are doing differently that accounts for their exceptional results.
Looking at their example, what can regular, everyday people do to raise the quality of their lives from disappointing, to passionate and fulfilling? This is what I have found:

7 strategies for a more meaningful life!

1) Take full responsibility for your reality. Forget about your circumstances and genetics. While you’re at it, forget about your past, your finances, your physical limitations, or anything else that can be used as an excuse. If you are making excuses then you have the mindset of a helpless victim. Take responsibility and you can take control!
2) Connect the dots. Your life today is the result of the thoughts, actions, and decisions you have made along the way. Figure out what those were, and change whatever isn’t working. If you want different results, you need to change the way you think, act, and decide. Doing the same thing over and over again will not produce new results.
3) Figure out who you really are. Your life will never be fulfilling until you know who you are on a core level. Pursuing someone else’s dreams will not bring you satisfaction. Living by someone else’s standards will not bring you inner peace. Self-discovery is a necessary component of a truly rewarding life.
4) Discover your deepest passions. We all have passions, but often they have been buried by years of doing what we are supposed to do rather than what we want to do. There is nothing wrong with doing what needs to be done. However, over time it does tend to push our passions into the background. You need to reconnect with your personal passions.
5) Forget about the concept of scarcity. This concept only exists in your mind, and it acts as a restraint in every aspect of your life. Life is abundant by nature, stop placing self-imposed limits on what you think you can accomplish or experience. There is more than enough opportunity available to you. Stop limiting yourself.
6) Learn the life skills that will produce your desired results. If your old skills haven’t produced the quality of life you want, then obviously, you need to learn new skills. There are proven strategies and techniques for everything, including a more rewarding life. Whatever you want from your life, there are skills to help you get it. Learn those skills.
7) Take action every day. Life is not about what you know or what you have. Your life is the result of what you do. Once you have done the first six things on this list, you must take action. Knowing what to do will not change anything. Only action produces results. If you don’t produce your intended result, make an adjustment and take more action.
Of all the factors that differentiate those with a rewarding and meaningful life from those with a disappointing one, the ability to take consistent action in the direction of their goals is primary. Knowledge that is not followed by action is just useless data. Take action every day.

Does all this seem like a tall order?

Even if it does, aren’t you worth it? This is another important quality of those whose lives seems extraordinary, they are willing to learn and do whatever it takes. They want a satisfying life enough to go after it. Is that how you feel? Are you ready to leave disappointment in the dust and join the minority of people who find life to be a wonderful and rewarding adventure?
If so, why not start today by working on the 7 strategies above. Your life can be whatever you want it to be, but it won’t happen unless you make it happen. Why not take action right now?
Need some help? Contact me today for a free 20 min consultation to determine if coaching is right for you!
How important do you think taking action is?
What do you want to change in your life?
Think. Grow. Live!

Roland N. Gilbert
Roland works one-on-one – via phone, Skype and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact Roland at            800-974-3692     or to determine if coaching is right for you.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Are You Still Blaming the Past for your Present?

Many people take an unpleasant situation and let it rule the way they look at life. The company downsizes and you were one that was cut. Your spouse cheats and leaves you. Someone you thought to be a best friend turns out to be not such a true friend. When these things happen many people spend their time blaming the other person for having done wrong to them.
“If my boss hadn’t fired me I wouldn’t have lost my house.” “If my friend hadn’t turned out to be such a terrible person I wouldn’t be so depressed.” If my spouse hadn’t cheated I would not be so lonely.”
Instead of looking at the situation as a turning point in their lives, people tend to use it as a pity party on themselves. I will not belittle the pain. The pain you feel is real and it is expected. But the point is that you can decide to rise above the situation.
Instead of deciding to focus on what went wrong and the loss, decide to focus on where the road ahead will lead you. Maybe you’ve lost your job and finances were tight to begin with and you don’t know which direction to turn. Was that your dream job? Was that your dream boss? Is there something that you’ve always wanted to do with your life, but were too busy working that job to go after your dreams?
Maybe there’s a person that needed your attention that you would have never noticed if that friend hadn’t let you down. And maybe that friend didn’t intend to hurt you. There are times in people’s lives where they see no other way. They may be suffering on the inside and you don’t know it.
People don’t always do things to hurt us, as we often think. There are times when people need to do things to help themselves, but never intend or want to hurt someone else. Step back and take a look at the situation. You may never figure it out, but at least give them the benefit of the doubt that there is something that maybe you don’t even know that they are suffering from themselves.
Divorce is a difficult situation all its own. You can spend your life trying to figure out what went wrong or why you were hurt or you can decide to get back up and live again. You can decide to spend your time blaming the other person for a bad marriage or you can decide to rise above it and find a new direction in life.
Maybe there is a dream career you didn’t go after because you had no need to work. Maybe there’s a person out there that you’ve never met that’s been waiting on you their whole life and everything will line up and you’ll find you’ve never been so happy.
The point is if we spend too much time living in the past and blaming the situations that have ‘done us wrong,’ we may miss the future we secretly long for. Close the doors to the past and walk forward. Open your eyes and your heart to what life has to hold for you today.
You’ve been given a chance to open yourself up to what life has to offer you. Decide to forgive, to release yourself from the pain and to move forward in life. Go after the life you deserve, the life that’s waiting for you to live it.

Think. Grow. Live!
Roland N. Gilbert
Roland works one-on-one – via phone, Skype and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact Roland at            800-974-3692     or to determine if coaching is right for you.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Reality Check!


Have you ever wished for a simpler life where you and all your neighbors interacted in a more sharing and caring way? Do you see yourself as someone who gets along well with others and makes a valuable contribution to all those around you? Do you ever feel shortchanged by your lot in life?

Sometimes our view of reality is a bit skewed because we see life from our own unique little vantage point. And isn’t it amazing how all that can change in a big hurry when we get an unexpected reality check? That’s what I want to offer you today, a reality check by means of a perspective shift with regard to your world and the people on it.

Shrinking the world changes our perspective

Perhaps if the whole world were a small village of 100 people it would be a lot easier to see firsthand what’s really going on with the human race. When we think in terms of global population the big numbers tend to distort our ability to comprehend things. The reality and proportions of any given situation are generally easier to comprehend when we shrink things down to a number that we can relate to.

This information is intended only as a reality check that will hopefully give most of us some legitimate reasons to feel very, very grateful. And I think that we can all agree that gratitude is a wonderful thing.

Perhaps reading this will move us all to look for ways to contribute more to the human family. Conscious awareness, compassion, and fellow feeling are an important first step toward solving any problem and this is especially true of big problems.

Here’s the scenario for our reality check

If we could reduce the world’s population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all existing human ratios remaining the same, the demographics would look something like this:

The village would have 60 Asians, 14 Africans, 12 Europeans, 8 Latin Americans, 5 from the USA and Canada, and 1 from the South Pacific.

This is how things would pencil out

51 would be male, 49 would be female
* 82 would be non-white; 18 white
67 would be non-Christian; 33 would be Christian
80 would live in substandard housing
67 would be unable to read
50 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation
* 33 would be without access to a safe water supply
* 39 would lack access to improved sanitation
24 would not have any electricity (And of the 76 that do have electricity,  
   most would only use it for light at night.)

7 people would have access to the Internet. You are in that 7%
would have a college education
* 1 would have HIV
2 would be near birth; 1 near death
5 would control 32% of the entire world’s wealth; all 5 would be
   US citizens

33 would be receiving and attempting to live on only 3% of the  
.  income of the entire village

How is your reality looking now?

No matter who you are, when you look over this list and consider your situation, you can probably see plenty of reasons to count your blessings. I know that I sure do!

How’s your situation looking now?
What did this reality check do for you?

Think. Grow. Live!
Roland N. Gilbert
Roland works one-on-one – via phone, Skype and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact Roland at            800-974-3692     or to determine if coaching is right for you.