Monday, December 17, 2012

How To Date the Alpha Female

What IS an "Alpha Female"?  She is strong-willed, overly confident at times, difficult to please, loves extra hard with a dedication that often can't be matched. Her ambition and natural curiosity for life & more  specifically HER life is undying. 

She doesn't back down easily and is not always comfortable wearing a dress. They are a "wear the pants" type of girl which can serve them well in some areas and destroy them in others at the very same time. She is a Lion in every sense of the word. She moves with a slow stride and with a high head. 

She is a natural-born leader and sometimes have a difficult time putting herself before others. Her will is to change the world that she lives in even if it's in the smallest of ways. She owns a room almost instantly after walking into it because this is her nature. 

The Alpha-Female spirit makes it easy for her to be single yet can make it difficult for her to be in a relationship which really sucks. She is sarcastic and witty and her tact isn't always warmly welcomed by the opposite sex. Living in this generation of "sex vs love" a lot of potential or would-be potential suitors are left eating dust when they try to divide and conquer her lion-heart. She has the spirit of a man with the heart of the most gentle of women. She tolerates no arguments in Love because Love is the one thing in this world that she believes is just simple. When she sees disturbance in Love she will generally just walk away and not look back. For her, love enters where there is calm not where there is chaos. 

it's safe to say that the Alpha-Female can have any man she wants and this is why more often than not out of 10 man there will be only 1 that barely strikes her interest. Her dominance can lure even the strongest of men, they will be intrigued with the challenge of dating her  because she is never easily impressed no matter how kind the gesture. This type of female is different and a man will have to do very different things to get and to keep her attention. Men become easily obsessed with the different type of personalities that she possesses. 

An Alpha-Female will never stay under the thumb of an overly obsessed man. As soon as she can break free she will and her eye will be keener at avoiding this type of man in the future. The Alpha-Female  will break hearts more than have her own heart broken and this is the curse that she is born with.

Whatever your perception, for men, the bottom line is: how does one approach this type of woman for romance? 

Here are 6 distinct signs you may be dealing with an Alpha Female and ways to "counteract" them:

1. She acts unimpressed by your romantic gestures
An alpha female is used to men chasing her, so don't be surprised if cliche gifts like flowers and chocolate don't impress her. Remember this: Her expectations are higher than most women's, so you will have to be a little more original to get her attention.
How to counteract it: Try writing her a personalized letter and leaving it on her windshield, for example. Or make her lunch and bring it to her at work. Whatever it is, be different.

If she still acts unimpressed, do continue to make kind gestures, but don't go overboard. This type of woman is used to men going crazy for her, and you will stand out more if you can keep your cool.

2. She continues to date other men

Clearly, she doesn't want to commit. The alpha woman always has several men on the go and likes to keep her options open.
How to counteract it: The only way to deal with her wandering eyes is to do the same. In other words, fight fire with fire and continue to date other women until you discuss otherwise.

3. She's hard to reach

The alpha female is a busy woman, or at least she is very talented at making you believe that. She likes to have you at her beck and call and wants you to work around her schedule.
How to counteract it: Don't become the last-minute, just-in-case guy -- that won't earn you any respect in the long term. Make sure she realizes that you have your own commitments by not working entirely around her schedule. Do continue to pursue her if you think you have a shot, but be casual when you call. And definitely don't call more than twice before she calls you back.

4. She insists on paying her share of the bill
If she always insists on going Dutch, she might be pulling one of her fancy alpha tricks. Why? Because if you never treat her, she'll never owe you anything. Nada.
How to counteract it: Continue to offer to pay on dates, but if she seems adamant about paying her share, don't insist. If you want to avoid the whole awkward bill-splitting moment, tell her you'll take her to your "secret spot" and bring along a picnic to surprise her.

5. She is demanding

She continuously asks you for favors and you are eager to do them for her. Sound familiar? The alpha female is used to having men pursue her and give in to her every whim. But as tempting as it might be to jump every time she tells you to, do not allow yourself to become her puppy dog.
How to counteract it: Keep your dignity and do only what you feel is within reason. You will earn yourself far more respect in the long run if you don't jump through all the hoops she sets out for you.

6. She is sarcastic and condescending to you

If she constantly talks down to you and makes rude or mocking remarks, you need to defend your honor and fight back with equally witty comments. You never know what the alpha female might say, so you always have to be "on" and ready for verbal combat.
How to counteract it: Use a negative hit only when absolutely necessary (something mildly but not overly insulting). This will throw her off balance and threaten her feelings of control. However, if your exchanges are consistently negative and disrespectful, you're probably better off moving on; you shouldn't have to put up with her abuse.

There is only one more thing you need to remember when pursuing a woman who knows her way around the dating game: Keep your cool. An alpha female can smell fear.

Become the alpha male

Make one important distinction clear in your mind: An alpha female might not call you back very often and she may date other men, but she will show you strong, intermittent signs that she is interested to encourage you to continue pursuing her. Do not mix this up with a woman who is showing few or no signs that she's interested. In other words, know when to stop trying and walk away.

Are you an "Alpha Female". Why/Why not?
Does the thought of being with n Alpha Female bring excitement or fear?
How do you deal with that "Alpha" trait?

Think, Grow. Live!

Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with Master Mind  Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact  Roland at 800-974-3692 or to determine if  coaching is right for you.