Are Men Really Ok with Lesbian Cheating?

The topic of cheating is intriguing to me and it has not been resolved or examine closely in the scholarly world. I would like to continue the discussion and examine the “taboo” of lesbian cheating. It is where a woman is in a relationship with a man and cheats on him with a woman. Some men may view cheating as a problem no matter who is sleeping with whom. Other men would be happy with their significant other having a sexual relationship with another woman. If my man had a sexual relationship with another man, I might leave the relationship very quickly. I am not one to judge people’s decisions when it comes to cheating but YourTango.com found a intriguing study on the topic.

A new study from the University of Texas at Austin discovered that men are more twice as likely to stay with their girlfriend or wife after they cheated on them with another woman. While women are less likely to continue a relationship if a man cheated on them with another man. The study surveyed 700 college students, asking them to imagine a committed relationship with someone they have been dating for three months. Then, they were asked to respond to different scenarios of their partner cheating on them. (Some of the scenarios included woman with man, woman with woman, man with woman, man with man and woman with multiple men, woman with multiple women, and men with multiple men and men with multiple women).

Men were 50 percent likely to stay with a woman after she cheated with another woman. Only 22 percent were likely to stay with a partner who cheated with a man. On the other hand, 28 percent of ladies would continue the relationship if a man cheated on them with a woman. Only 21 percent of women would stay with their man if he had sexual relations with another man. The study suggested that men are threatened by indiscretions that come in the way of their paternity of offspring. The lead author of the study, Jamie C. Confer stated, “A robust jealousy mechanism is activated in men and women by different types of cues, those that threaten paternity in men and those that threaten abandonment in women.”

While many people may not agree with the findings in this study, the authors claim that men view a homosexual affair as an “opportunity to mate with more than one woman at the same time. “ The lesbian cheating helps to satisfy the man’s desire to be with many partners including their girlfriend or wife. No matter what side you are on in this discussion, men like a lot of women and some women like to be with both men and women. Maybe people should try open marriages and relationships especially since the divorce rate is high and everyone has a naughty fantasy that they are afraid to try in the real world.

I understand how women feel about their man cheating on them with another man. I would like to know how men feel about lesbian cheating. Cheating is a dangerous game but is it really ok for women to cheat on their man with another woman. So tell me how you feel about your partner cheating on you with another woman. Does your woman cheating on you with another man really threaten your feelings about paternity and masculinity?

Let me know your thoughts below

Seddi

Sedinam "Seddi" Kakrada is a Broadcast Journalism grad student at UNLV with a B.A. in Communication. Seddi has combined her two favorite topics, sex & communication and is striving to become the first African-American "Dr. Ruth".Seddi hails from Annapolis, MD, and looks forward to answering your questions and helping you succeed!

Mid-Week Hump W/Seddi Kakrada

Why Men Cheat

From Clinton to Weiner to Schwarzenegger we never understand the real reasons why they decide to go outside a relationship. The men seem to have a loving partner and a brilliant career. Relationship experts and philosophers have explored this topic for centuries and there has not been a real answer or solution yet. Recently, a study in the journal entitled, “Archives of Sexual Behavior “suggests that sexual anxiety does not prevent men from seeking sex outside of a monogamous relationship. Sadly, it makes men more likely to do so. The article looked at the factors that predict cheating among both genders. The factors are as follows:

• Men who are risk takers.
• Men who are easily aroused.
• Women in unsatisfying relationships. They are twice as likely to cheat.
• Women who say they are sexually incompatible with their partners. They are three times as likely to cheat

The study showed that men do cheat but not much as women. Only 23 percent of men cheat compared to 19 percent of women who cheat. The other factors that cause cheating are not religion, income and control, but they are personality and relationship factors. This should not be shocking because our media gives powerful men an award if they cheat and they never really suffer in the public eye.

Maybe men cheat because they want variety. Men crave different things from different women. They crave attention and sexual satisfaction. Today, it has become easier and cheaper for men to cheat. There are websites like Ashley Madison that help married men find sexy single women. It is a free website and it is easy to use. Marriage counseling is costly and time consuming when a man can go visit a woman who will lie in bed and listen to them.  The main reason why men cheat is very simple. Men are bored with their wives and girlfriends. Ladies, it is time to spice it up and go to Fredrick’s of Hollywood.

If you do not believe what the study has stated, there is a book written by Sue Johnson, who is a professor in clinical psychology at the University of Ottawa and author of Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (Little Brown and Company). She listed 9 reasons why men lose the love for their partners. The reasons revolve around the lack of thrill and how the woman is becoming a nag in his life.  Some of the other reasons are that men get bored with the day to day routine and want to do a little “adventure”. The funny reason is that biologically, men were meant to be with many women so that they can pass on their biological goodness.

Whatever the reasons are for cheating, it is a dangerous game for all who play. I am not a God or a saint, but cheating can cause people to lose everything very quickly. Sometimes, men and women do not think before they hop in bed with someone else. Maybe it is biological to go from woman to woman but it is not an excuse for the lies and shame that comes with cheating. So keep the marriage and relationship spicy and do not get “comfortable” with each other. Communicate your needs and wants and desires to each other and explore “open” marriages and relationships. You never know what may cause your man to enjoy being sexually free with you.

Let me know your thoughts below

Seddi

Sedinam "Seddi" Kakrada is a Broadcast Journalism grad student at UNLV with a B.A. in Communication. Seddi has combined her two favorite topics, sex & communication and is striving to become the first African-American "Dr. Ruth".Seddi hails from Annapolis, MD, and looks forward to answering your questions and helping you succeed!

Mid-Week Hump W/Seddi Kakrada

10 Things that women do or wear 

that are not sexy to men!!

Hollywood makes women look sexy all the time. It can be hard to look like Halle Berry and Eva Longoria. The television shows and movies make it look easy for women to become beautiful everyday. Men have high standards and expectations of women and we as women need to have them for ourselves. Today’s women need to put in some effort, so they can get the men of their dreams. There are ten things that women should not do if they are still on the market looking for “The One”.

1. Clothes that are too tight or too short.

No man wants to see everything all in one night. Show one part of the body and cover the rest up. For example, a low cut top with nice jeans and heels, instead of booty shorts, mid baring top and heels.

2. A woman who is desperate to find a man.

It shows on her face and in her body language. A man wants a woman who is independent and not grabbing on every man that comes by. So, take it easy and relax!!! Enjoy hanging out with your girls and “Mr. Right” may pop up.

3. A woman that tries to drink like a man.

No man needs to see a woman throwing up in a trash can or in public. Slow down. Two hard cocktails should be enough for a woman. Ladies, you want to talk to a man not scare him away.

4. A woman who fights any and everybody.

This is not an episode of “Basketball Wives” and it is not cute to see two women fighting in public. If you cannot act like a mature woman without fighting, maybe you need to stay home or get some counseling. A man does not need to see his date or girlfriend fighting every night.

5. The crazy hairstyles and weird hair colors.

Blonde and red are fine for highlights but a whole head of purple, green and neon colors are not ok. A man wants to see who you truly are. The Mohawk is not for everyone!! The spikes cannot look good on every woman. You can still wear the natural hair or weave, but do not go crazy with the hair colors.

6. Randomly blowing smoke in a man’s face…not sexy!!!

Take your cigarettes outside the club or the date. It is not cute. Or try not bringing them with you until you are official together.

7. Cursing for no reason at all.

There is more to the English language than f**k and s**t…you went to high school other institutions, so please learn how to use other words in the English language. A man wants to date a woman not a Kobe Bryant imposter.

8. Grabbing on a man’s manly stuff.

It is just tacky and it is annoying to see grown women grabbing on a man’s stuff like it is a FDA approved steak. If he wants you he will find you, trust me.

9. A woman who always talks about her weight.

Hit the gym with him or try out a group workout class. Do not get on his nerves about the 5 pounds you gain over the weekend. Try having some fun sex to help burn a few calories.

10. Unshaved everything, from legs to armpits to other private areas.

It is not a cute thing…It holds odor and it does not make men want to come back for more. Please wax, shave, pluck or laser remove those unwanted hairs.

Ladies, you should embrace who you are, but if you are on the market like I am. You need to make yourself look amazing and clean up on your outside behaviors and appearances. No one wants a scrub, so dress and act like the classy lady that you are. Set up high standards and you will attract a good man. If not, just call or leave a message, and I will hook you up with someone.

Let me know your thoughts below

Seddi

Sedinam "Seddi" Kakrada is a Broadcast Journalism grad student at UNLV with a B.A. in Communication. Seddi has combined her two favorite topics, sex & communication and is striving to become the first African-American "Dr. Ruth".Seddi hails from Annapolis, MD, and looks forward to answering your questions and helping you succeed!

The Art of Oral-Pleasure

The Art of Oral-Pleasure

The study at the University of Alberta shows that oral sex is part of young people’s routines. Oral Pleasure can be empowering for young women between the ages of 18 to 25. Women feel more empowered when they are giving and receiving oral pleasure. Women have more options when they decide to give oral pleasure because they can use different objects to provide pleasure to the men. Oral pleasure can provide a good stress reliever called an orgasm. Orgasms release Oxytocin, which is a natural chemical in the body that surges before and after a climax. According to MSNBC.com, when a woman gives oral pleasure to a man and ingests, she has a lower risk of preeclampsia, dangerously high blood pressure.

The studies and researchers have shown that oral sex is healthy for men and women but there is still a negative stigma associated with the act. Religion and the double standards that are place on women in our society makes oral pleasure seem like a disease. Some men and women do not perform oral pleasure very well and that can make some men and women avoid doing the act. There is no need to worry, this article will give you some tips and techniques that you can use to improve your oral skills. The first section is for the ladies and how to perform oral pleasure on their man. The second section is for the men and how to perform oral sex on their ladies.

Let’s Begin!!

Ladies!!! Take Notes!!

Tip # 1

No need to “Deep Throat” him

-You do not need to do this because you are not Jenna Jameson and it makes him come faster and leaves your mouth in pain unless you have a huge mouth.

-Instead: Work the tip of the penis with your tongue then slide it up and down the shaft. If you feel comfortable gently suck his scrotum or use your hands to squeeze them as you are licking the penis

Tip # 2

Use a cold object

You can use a cold massage oil or a ice cube to add a change of temperature while you are bringing him to climax.

Tip # 3

Manually stimulate him with a hand job while licking the head

Makes it easier for you!!

Tip # 4

Swallow if you want to!!! If you do not swallow let him come on your breasts, or face.

Sperm is healthy for women and it is fine if they chose to swallow.

Now for the Men!!! Take Notes!!

Tip # 1

Do not be shy

Do not focus on one area of the woman’s vagina. Spread your tongue and explore the inside and outer regions of the vagina

Tip # 2

Do use your fingers

Your fingers can add pressure and make the experience more pleasurable. The fingers can be used to massage the clitoris and work the inside of the vagina so that she will have a stronger orgasm. Be careful though, not all women like this so feel your partner's movements and judge accordingly. Also, manicured nails are a MUST!

Tip # 3

Put a strong mint in your mouth and BLOW!!!

Trust me it works.

Tip # 4

Use your hands all over her body

You want to feel her intense movements so that you have an idea of when she is about to come. Grab her buttocks, or feel on her thighs as you lick all over her vagina. Enjoy the sweetness that will come out of her when you have done a good job!!

Oral pleasure was created to be fun and enjoyable but if one person is bad at giving it, then it can cause a lot of problems. The health benefits to performing and receiving oral sex are endless and important to be aware of. Oral pleasure can help you live a longer life and make waking up in the morning a lot more exciting. Do not be fearful of oral pleasure and orgasms because they can help you discover your G-spot and other sexual areas. Try some tonight and see how much happier you will be in the morning.

Let me know your thoughts below

Seddi

Sedinam "Seddi" Kakrada is a Broadcast Journalism grad student at UNLV with a B.A. in Communication. Seddi has combined her two favorite topics, sex & communication and is striving to become the first African-American "Dr. Ruth".Seddi hails from Annapolis, MD, and looks forward to answering your questions and helping you succeed!

The Art of Self-Pleasure

Sex does not happen all the time for a lot of couples and singles. There are many reasons for this issue from being long distance to not performing well.  We are humans and we need to “release” the stress that we have during the day. If sex is not a regular routine for you, why don’t you try the next best thing…masturbation? Masturbation sounds like an “ugly” word but it is not. It can be a healthy process that can help improve a person’s immune system and ease depression. According to YourTango.com, between 45 and 80 percent of women have tried masturbation and they enjoyed it. They did not die or go blind from this enjoyable past time. 

Here are some tips to help get you going.

Turn Down the Lights

Having lights on when you can become nervous or feel odd when you want to explore your body. When the lights are off, you will get a chance to tune into your other senses like smell, touch and hearing. You will feel more at ease when you are doing your solo session.

Relax

Take Deep Breaths and close your eyes. Enjoy your sheets. Explore your hot spots and sensual sides of your body. Turn off your phones, televisions and computers. Give yourself that “sexy” time to enjoy all aspects of you.

Make sure you have soft sheets

Cotton sheets are nice in the summer because they can help cool your body as you start your fun. Silk sheets are nice for the luxurious feeling of someone being in the bed with you.

Turn on some cool air to set the mood

Nothing is worse than being sweaty and uncomfortable in your own bed. So put on a fan or some air conditioning to help you relax.

Envision your deepest sexual fantasy or wish

Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Let your mind wander into the depths of sexual erotica. Enjoy the entertainment that your mind has to offer because the brain is the biggest sexual organ you have.

Use Ice

Ice is good to use if you are about to explode because it will give you an intense sensation. Ice can also help to get you going again. Keep the ice close by, so you will not ruin the moment.

Use your fingers (If you are from the old school)

The classic toy…your fingers, they never seem to let a lady down. You can use as many as you want and do not have to use batteries. I suggest putting some lube on them to make the session last longer. Ice on your fingers is helpful as well.

Use a fun toy (plastic, glass, and vibrator)

There are so many options when it comes to shopping for sex toys. From the dildos to the bullet vibrator to the rubber duckie, when you go to get one, keep in mind what kind of orgasm you want to have. Remember if you want a easy to use toy or something that is more complex.  Whatever toy you decide to use, make sure you enjoy all the features on the toy.

Masturbation should be a fun activity that lets you forget about your stresses. Enjoy pleasuring yourself because it is better for your health and mental state of mind. These little tips will help you have a strong and longer orgasm and help tighten your pelvic muscles. Enjoy your self love and become in tuned with your body. 

 If you have any tips or stories about how you get your solo sessions started. Let me know. 

Let me know your thoughts below

Seddi

Sedinam "Seddi" Kakrada is a Broadcast Journalism grad student at UNLV with a B.A. in Communication. Seddi has combined her two favorite topics, sex & communication and is striving to become the first African-American "Dr. Ruth".Seddi hails from Annapolis, MD, and looks forward to answering your questions and helping you succeed!

5 Bad 1st Date Ideas!

Ladies have you ever been on a date that was so bad that you wanted to put him on Facebook and warn other women not to date him? We have all been on bad dates from time to time, and I have had my share too! Men, listen up, here are 5 bad 1^st date ideas that you should avoid at all cost! If not, you will be alone for a very long time.

1. Taking a lady to a business meeting!!

Work and Play are meant to be separate. She is trying to get to know you not your title or company.  Try taking her to a happy hour or a park so you can really talk to her and find out her interests.

Save this for the 8^th date or when you have her as your “girlfriend” or “wife”.

2. Taking a lady to your place!!

She could be crazy and some women like to be nosy and go through your stuff. What will you do if something goes missing or she decides to leave little things (shampoo, panties, or a razor) behind?

Save this for the 4^th date when you know her and her intentions.

3. Bar Hopping!!

She wants to talk to you not her glass at throughout the night. Alcohol is great if you want to cut to the chase but it does not make you look sexy on a first date. Drink 2-3 glass of wine or hard liquor and STOP!!! So you can focus your attention on your date not what bar you are going to.

Save this for the long term dating or friends with benefits phase.

4. McDonald's

I love to eat food and I know it is a recession but when you take a lady to McDonalds, it leaves a sour taste in her mouth. McDonalds is great for cheap eating and a quick meeting with friends. But for a first date, it is a major turn-off. Try taking her to a restaurant and if you need to bring a coupon, let your waiter know in advance.  Or just wait until pay day, and look at your budget before taking a lady out on a date.

Save this for when you are both in love or when you are both really, really drunk.

5. Strip Clubs

This is a funny way to start off a relationship by taking a lady to see some other lady’s parts. The bad music mixed with the smell of funk and smoke may create a romantic setting for some ladies like Superhead. But ladies do not want to be in a shady environment where she cannot talk or look at you because you are drooling over the girl with the big booty. Strip clubs are fantasy lands that most ladies do not want to go to.

Save this for when you are both sexually adventurous or when you both are a serious couple.

This was not meant to be offensive but I am sure some ladies have experienced these bad dates at some point in their lives. I do not want men to believe that it is fine to give ladies a poor first impression of themselves. Men need to learn how to take a lady out and how to talk to a lady because a lady has more class than a girl. 

Ladies need to be treated with respect and kindness. Ladies should demand that respect by not going on these strange and depressing dates. Communicate with the date before you go out and let them know what your interests are. Do not let the man get away with taking you on a horrible date. Tell him how it made you feel and how you will handle the dating situation with him in the future.

Would you add anything to the list?

Let me know your thoughts below

Seddi

Sedinam "Seddi" Kakrada is a Broadcast Journalism grad student at UNLV with a B.A. in Communication. Seddi has combined her two favorite topics, sex & communication and is striving to become the first African-American "Dr. Ruth".Seddi hails from Annapolis, MD, and looks forward to answering your questions and helping you succeed!

5 Reasons to Have a Summer Fling!

Picnics, vacations and pool parties are starting around this time of year. People are starting to get comfortable and look for some hot summer fun. Summer Flings are the best thing ever made because they are fun and you do not have to commit to anyone. This article will show you the top five reasons to have a summer fling this summer!!!

Reason # 1 

Because you are on vacation!!

It adds excitement to the days that you are off and you will have a person that you will not get attached to that can hang out with you during your vacation.

Reason # 2

It is summer!!

You are more relaxed during these summer months, so you will more adventurous and will to try new things in the bedroom.

For example, try strip poker, or sex on the beach!!

Reason # 3

You may find someone who is not your type in a good way!!

The person you decide to have a fling with has to be different from the people you usually date, and when a person is different from your usual type, you will be more inclined to explore and try new things in and out of the bedroom.

Reason # 4

Summer Flings can renew your outlook on dating and romance

The fling can give you a confidence boost and allow you to be more vulnerable and open to the idea of dating and romance in a positive way.

Reason # 5

It is easy to schedule in a fling rather than a date!!

There is not much planning involved when trying to get a fling going. Flings can be squeezed in between breakfast and lunch. There is no pressure when planning a fling.

Sedinam Seddi Kakrada


Sedinam Seddi Kakrada is a Broadcast Journalism grad student at UNLV with a B.A. in Communication. Seddi has combined her two favorite topics, sex & communication and is striving to become the first African-American "Dr. Ruth".Seddi hails from Annapolis, MD, and looks forward to answering your questions and helping you succeed!