Mid-Week Hump W/Seddi Kakrada

Why Men Cheat

From Clinton to Weiner to Schwarzenegger we never understand the real reasons why they decide to go outside a relationship. The men seem to have a loving partner and a brilliant career. Relationship experts and philosophers have explored this topic for centuries and there has not been a real answer or solution yet. Recently, a study in the journal entitled, “Archives of Sexual Behavior “suggests that sexual anxiety does not prevent men from seeking sex outside of a monogamous relationship. Sadly, it makes men more likely to do so. The article looked at the factors that predict cheating among both genders. The factors are as follows:

• Men who are risk takers.
• Men who are easily aroused.
• Women in unsatisfying relationships. They are twice as likely to cheat.
• Women who say they are sexually incompatible with their partners. They are three times as likely to cheat

The study showed that men do cheat but not much as women. Only 23 percent of men cheat compared to 19 percent of women who cheat. The other factors that cause cheating are not religion, income and control, but they are personality and relationship factors. This should not be shocking because our media gives powerful men an award if they cheat and they never really suffer in the public eye.

Maybe men cheat because they want variety. Men crave different things from different women. They crave attention and sexual satisfaction. Today, it has become easier and cheaper for men to cheat. There are websites like Ashley Madison that help married men find sexy single women. It is a free website and it is easy to use. Marriage counseling is costly and time consuming when a man can go visit a woman who will lie in bed and listen to them.  The main reason why men cheat is very simple. Men are bored with their wives and girlfriends. Ladies, it is time to spice it up and go to Fredrick’s of Hollywood.

If you do not believe what the study has stated, there is a book written by Sue Johnson, who is a professor in clinical psychology at the University of Ottawa and author of Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (Little Brown and Company). She listed 9 reasons why men lose the love for their partners. The reasons revolve around the lack of thrill and how the woman is becoming a nag in his life.  Some of the other reasons are that men get bored with the day to day routine and want to do a little “adventure”. The funny reason is that biologically, men were meant to be with many women so that they can pass on their biological goodness.

Whatever the reasons are for cheating, it is a dangerous game for all who play. I am not a God or a saint, but cheating can cause people to lose everything very quickly. Sometimes, men and women do not think before they hop in bed with someone else. Maybe it is biological to go from woman to woman but it is not an excuse for the lies and shame that comes with cheating. So keep the marriage and relationship spicy and do not get “comfortable” with each other. Communicate your needs and wants and desires to each other and explore “open” marriages and relationships. You never know what may cause your man to enjoy being sexually free with you.

Let me know your thoughts below

Seddi

Sedinam "Seddi" Kakrada is a Broadcast Journalism grad student at UNLV with a B.A. in Communication. Seddi has combined her two favorite topics, sex & communication and is striving to become the first African-American "Dr. Ruth".Seddi hails from Annapolis, MD, and looks forward to answering your questions and helping you succeed!