Relationship Break-Up? 6 Ways To Get Over Someone You Love

Has the relationship with the person you thought was the love of your life come to an end? Are you devastated by the loss and desperately trying to figure out how to get over someone you love who has broken your heart?

Perhaps your ex lover has left you for someone new or yourrelationship break uphappened because he or she just fell out of love with you. Whatever the cause of the split, getting over the shock and grief of losing someone you were romantically involved with can be very hard, especially if you’re the one who’s been dumped.


Before doing anything, you need to be absolutely sure that there’s no chance of reconciliation with your ex. For example, if he or she said that they just needed some “space” in the relationship or somehow “left the door open” to getting back together with you, you must decide whether this is just a temporary break or if it’s permanent. How to get over someone you love and start making a new life for yourself takes time and effort. It doesn’t just happen. You don’t simply wake up one day and find that all the pain and heartache has disappeared. But, don’t worry, you can get over it provided you’re willing to take positive steps to mending your broken heart.

If you believe the break up with your ex is simply a minor hiccup in your romance, then you don’t want rush into making any final decisions that you can’t take back. On the other hand however, don’t fool yourself by desperately clinging onto any false hopes of some kind of magical, “Hollywood-type” relationship recovery. The worst thing you could do is to hope against hope that your ex will come back!

Now, if you’re positive that your relationship is finished in no uncertain terms,  the following 6 tips can help you start working towards how to get over someone you love, accept the situation and then move on with your life.

Tip #1 

To begin with, you need to do a thorough house cleaning! Start off by giving your ex back all of the stuff that they've left at your place. Obviously, ask him or her to do the same by returning anything that you care about. Then, store away any gifts they’ve given you, even if it’s something of value. Box it up and put it in your closet, attic, basement or garage. Just remove it from your sight, at least until the pain has gone away!

Tip #2

 Pamper or spoil yourself. Yep, this goes for guys as well! Studies indicate that depression and anguish cause Serotonin and Endorphin levels to dramatically decrease. during a harsh break-up that "feeling" that the world will never be the same again is reinforced by the chemical reactions in the brain. To break this, buy yourself something you’ve always wanted or treat yourself to a lavish night out on the town. Maybe catch a show in Las Vegas or take a vacation in the Bahamas. Do whatever it takes to start to make yourself feel special again, you’re only limited by your imagination. You’ve been through a lot, you’re worth it!

Tip #3

Talk about the break up with your family and close friends. Whatever you do, don’t bottle up your feelings! Being able to share how you really feel, letting your emotions come to the surface with the people you trust can help immeasurably with your recovery. Sympathetic friends and family members will let you talk and talk…at least, in the beginning.

Tip #4 

If talking to your family and friends isn’t helping you get over your lost love, perhaps scheduling a few sessions with a relationship therapist might be necessary. Discussing things with a professional counselor will not only give you an outlet to talk about your ex, it may also help you to identify things in your own life that make intimate relationships difficult.

Tip #5

Get back into the real world as soon as you can. It is one of the best methods of how to get over someone you love. You’ll probably have more time on your hands now that you’re not dating your ex, so spend that time wisely. Go to the gym, take a class or get involved in a group.

Just do something to keep yourself occupied. Often, when we are involved in a relationship, we tend to allow our own interests and hobbies take a back seat. This is an ideal opportunity to get back into the things we love doing!

Tip #6

When you feel the time is right, you should start dating again. However, don’t expect your first dates to lead to great romances! You’ll be greatly disappointed if you think this will happen. Instead, take your time, go slowly. Maybe have coffee with someone who interests you or agree to go on a group date. Plan to date a number of people and don’t limit your social activities. Get back onto the dating scene progressively. You don’t need to commit to anyone until you’re  ready. If you should find yourself moving towards a relationship soon after a break-up understand that while your immediate pain has only been "masked". Not only are you not dealing with your past break-up pain, but you are creating a new pattern of pain that will rear it's ugly head when (not if) this new relationship fails! This is the "relationship cycle" we must all avoid or risk spending endless moths and even years going in and out of relationships just because we were afraid to deal with the original pain!

Have Faith That You’ll Find Someone New.

It’s never easy to get over someone you love when a relationship ends. And, it doesn’t really matter who broke off the romance or whether it was a mutual decision, there will always be some feelings of affection for your ex. But rest assured, you will meet someone new and fall in love all over again. Your hopes and expectations for a loving relationship will be rekindled if you take the time to get over your pain.

What you’ve gone through with your ex lover will just be part of your history and you need to keep that in perspective. When all is said and done, it’s really up to you how to get over someone you love. Don’t expect it to be quick and don’t expect it to be easy, but do expect it to happen! Simply keep in mind that there’s someone out there who’s ideal for you; you just haven’t met them yet!

How have you dealt with break-ups in the past?

Have you experienced "rebound" relationships?

Think, Grow. Life!

Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact Roland at 800-974-3692 or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if coaching is right for you.

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