Limiting Beliefs - The Lies We Tell Ourselves!

I had a session recently with an exceptional woman who claimed that her life and her business just seemed to keep "going around in circles and never making any progress forward." First, I asked her some questions to help her identify a particular limiting belief she had. She began by telling me that she was experiencing some blocks related to hiring people. We soon identified several different intertwined beliefs that were holding her back from hiring a staff. It was obvious that she needed to hire help, but she was still holding back.


Turns out her biggest limiting belief was, “If I hire other people, they won’t care about the work as much as I do.” She believed that it would be discouraging and draining to manage people who were mainly there for the paycheck. So naturally she didn't hire anyone and blamed her lack of progress on the "economy".


The whole situation reminded me of a book I once read called The Leadership Integrity Challenge by Edward Morler. One area that really struck me was his discussion of limiting behaviors and beliefs.

Here’s a quote that I found particularly powerful:

“Limiting behaviors originate from limiting beliefs. Our beliefs form the basis of our experiences and how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. When our beliefs are limited, we limit our perception and experience of what is possible. It doesn't matter if those beliefs are false. As long as we believe them, they will accordingly impact and mold our perception of experience. The more limiting our beliefs, the less powerful we feel.”

Amazing stuff, isn’t it? It’s almost scary how much control our minds have over us, especially when the mind is known for playing tricks.

So, this got me thinking: How many of us are experiencing limits in our lives simply because of our beliefs? How many of us are tied to some preconceived notion that is keeping us from achieving the things we really want and deserve, both personally and professionally?

I’m guessing that most of you reading this have at least one or two limiting beliefs you’re holding on to, whether or not you even realize it. Don’t worry. I’m right there with you. We all have limiting beliefs of some kind. They usually sit just beneath the surface, in our subconscious mind, and have been there for years and years (usually since childhood). Recognizing your limiting beliefs is the first step to overcoming them.

What is a Limiting Belief?

A belief is a conviction or generalization that is accepted as truth without positive proof or knowledge. A limiting belief is one that places artificial boundaries around your personal potential.

A Limiting Belief…

• tricks you into not trying.
• blinds you to the realities of the world.
• stops you from taking risks.
• keeps you where you are.
• obstructs your growth.
• keeps you repeating negative patterns.
• prevents you from taking responsibility for your life.
• prevents you from going after your dreams.
• encourages procrastination.
• gives you an excuse for not doing what you really want to do.
• fills you with doubt and fear.
• prompts you to find “evidence” to support it.
• stops you from imagining the possibilities.
• makes you feel negative and discontent.
• prevents breakthroughs.

Here’s the truth: Beliefs are not facts. But they are just as powerful. Regardless of whether or not they are true, beliefs shape reality.

Common Limiting Beliefs

Listen to yourself. What lies are you telling?

• I don’t have this skill.
• I’m not good at this.
• Others can do it better than me.
• I’m not experienced enough.
• I’m not smart enough.
• I’m not important enough.
• I’m too young.
• I’m too old.
• I don’t have the money.
• I don’t have the time.
• It’s just not in my genes.
• It’s too hard.
• I don’t deserve success.
• I’m lazy.
• Nothing ever works out for me.
• Nobody ever notices the work I do.
• I never get what I want.
• This is just “the way it is.”
• I have no control over this.
• I have nothing to offer.

And there are probably a lot of personally acquired limiting beliefs you’ve collected through your own unique experiences. Whatever the case, most beliefs are formed unconsciously, without our knowing about it. We didn’t necessarily decide to agree to these beliefs because we wanted to.

It’s not like one day we woke up and thought “Man, you know what would be awesome? To go out today and repeat a bunch of thoughts that are going to turn into hard and fast conclusions that will keep me from experiencing the life I want. Yeah, I think that’s what I’ll do today.”

That would obviously be ridiculous.

None of us want to keep these beliefs, but we either think:

1. That’s just the way things are (everyone else agrees), or…
2. It’s become such a part of my identity that it’s too hard to change now

In order to solve the first problem, we need to realize that what is often seen as “just the way things are” is, in reality, just a collective assumption. And because it’s an assumption, that means that we decided to agree to make that assumption as well, on some conscious or unconscious level.

In that case, we need to reclaim our power, and choose to stop agreeing. It can really be that simple.

When it comes to ingrained limiting beliefs, patterns, or habits, these can be a bit harder to change. Because we’re so used to them — and mostly because we identify with them — they hold a lot of weight in our experience. It can almost feel as if they’re immovable objects on our path.

These things can seem daunting to try to change. And even when you do make a real, consistent effort, inertia is often just too hard to overcome.

Luckily, there are a few steps you can follow in order to make the shift to new, more empowering beliefs.

1. Stop identifying with the belief. Most beliefs are so difficult to change because we identify with them. They seem to be ingrained as a part of who we are. And because we identify with them, we allow ourselves to be defined by them. If you think you’re not creative, you’ll see yourself as someone who just wasn’t born with that ability. If you think you’re bad with getting things to work, you might think you’re just not a mechanical person. It’s easy to get caught up in allowing our beliefs to define us, but they don’t have to. So the first step is to stop identifying with or defining yourself based on what you believe.
2. Kill your conclusions. Whatever you think you know to be certain is probably a lot more flexible than you think. What you think to be required is certain to be much more negotiable. Question all of the conclusions you have about what you think to be true, fixed or possible.
3. Test your assumptions. Without pushing the boundary and testing your assumptions, it’s impossible to move past your limiting beliefs. You need to do something to break the pattern of your limiting belief. Questioning is the first step, but if you only do that, the possibilities of moving to a more empowering perspective stay in your head. Some type of action must be taken that puts your conclusions to the test. Just make sure that you’re not staying in the limited head-space that leads you to reinforce what you already hold to be true. Suspend your judgment and take some kind of action to test your assumptions.

It might seem simple, but these are the basic steps to moving past any limiting belief.

They’re only part of it, though. In order to really integrate a new, more empowering belief, you’ll need to spend time cultivating it. And it can help to go through a structured process to dissolve the limit.

If you think you could use some help moving past a belief that’s been keeping you from getting the results you want or start a personal exploration on your own unconscious beliefs request an Introductory Consultation today.

Roland Gilbert

Roland N. Gilbert is Vice-President and founder of the Perennial Consulting Group a management consulting, coaching and sales force development firm that focuses on overcoming fear and other limiting beliefs and creating empowering solutions so that individuals can live out their passions!