True friends happen to be one of the greatest joys and blessings in life. Friends there may be; but a true friend is indeed a jewel that has to be cultivated, treasured and maintained to ensure that its luster lasts forever. When you were young you had many friends with whom you laughed joked exchanged secrets and all in all had a great time with. During this period in life, it was so easy to say I have hundreds of friends and we love each other very much. As you grow older however, values change, ideas differ and circumstances make it impossible to maintain hundreds of friends. Not that you forget them, but everyone drifts away to lives of their own and you find that only a few are left with whom you can really talk and pour your heart out to.
No matter what anyone says, true friendship has to be cultivated and maintained. You just cannot say so and so is my friend for life and just forget about them until you need them again. Never ever take advantage of a friend. Be there for each other, be strong and supportive but never bossy. True friendship is a two way game. You cannot expect to have your friend come running every time you are in trouble or need them desperately, but make excuses when you have to go and see them when they need your help. Even if you live far away from each other, keep in touch by calling them whenever you can. In these days of high technology, communication is not a problem at all, phoning, e-mailing or even an ‘sms’ to find out how they are could make a big difference to a friend who is going through it.
1. Trust
Trust is very important in a relationship and one of the most important ingredients in true friendship is Trust. Trust has to be earned and once it has been established, maintain it. Don’t let out your friend’s secrets to anyone else the same way you would not want your secrets to be known by anyone other than your friend. If anyone should “bad mouth” your friends in your presence it’s up to you as a true friend to defend them as best as possible. Never gossip about them behind their back and try not to be judgmental even if you feel they've done something you don’t approve of. Remember that they have to live their life the way they want to. You can be supportive and helpful and tell them no matter what, you are always there for them.
2. Important Events
Always remember important events in their life such as their birthday, graduation, Christmas and later on their wedding and the birth of their first born. Be there to share their joy as well as their grief in times of sadness. This is what true friendship is all about. If you can’t be present, make sure you send them a card and a small gift so that they know you are thinking of them.
3. Listening
True friendship also means listening to your friend when they want to talk. You might be the only one they feels they can talk to. Listen to them without interrupting and lend your shoulder for them to cry on. Don’t interrupt them with frivolous talk but let them unburden themselves completely.
4. Finally, never, ever take your friend for granted.
You may think they are there for you always and there’s no necessity to call or visit them. Friends are also human and they have to know you’re there for them the same way they there for you whenever you need a true friend. If you value true friendship, go that extra mile and be the type of friend who is more worthy than any jewel in the world!
Do you cultivate your friendships?
Are you the type of friend YOU'D like to have?
Think. Grow. Live!
Roland N. Gilbert
Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact Roland at 800-974-3692 or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if coaching is right for you.
