Personal Success & Unconscious Beliefs - Part III

This is the final post in a continuation for personal development and personal success. I’d like to talk about my favorite subject…beliefs!

In the Personal Success & Unconscious Beliefs–Part I, I discussed ‘beliefs 101’.  In Personal Success & Unconscious Beliefs–Part II I talked about were beliefs come from…now I’d like to continue with…

Unconscious Beliefs in Life

Self awareness is the key to personal growth and personal development. By being self aware we can understand more about ourselves and this will support us in determining our vision in life and areas that we wish to grow in. This can be the very first step to knowing more about your beliefs and unconscious beliefs – just through awareness.

Awareness is the first stage of change. It is the first stage of bringing something from our subconsciousness into our consciousness. Through seeing something consciously we can determine more about it. We can start to ask ourselves questions about our behaviors. We can start to unlock truths about our beliefs. We can determine what beliefs we are committed to.

The best place to look for an unconscious belief is within the situation in which you are confronted. In other words, by looking at the outcomes or the results we have in our life, which we don‘t want. Going back to our original premise, which is: whatever a person truly believes in they will create and experience. We can use these unwanted results to define what the unconscious beliefs are in life. The connection is simple and direct.

For example, if a person says they want to save money and they have been trying unsuccessfully for a substantial period of time, then there is something they believe in which causes something else to show up in their life. A person with this kind of challenge may have an unconscious belief called, “I don‘t deserve to be wealthy” or “I don‘t value money” or “there‘s not enough resources to go around.” Any one of these unconscious beliefs could support the behaviors that result in the person not saving money. It does not take too much imagination to think of childhood events that may have resulted in someone developing this kind of unconscious belief.

In order to create a greater level of self-awareness around our thoughts and beliefs, it is important to also develop awareness around our emotions. When exploring unconscious beliefs, we may find it difficult to monitor and identify our specific thoughts and beliefs. When looking to identify an unconscious belief that eludes us, it can be useful to first look at the emotions that our thoughts cause us to feel. Do your thoughts create emotions that are empowering – feelings of joy, excitement, love and gratitude?

Or do your thoughts create emotions that are disempowering – feelings of fear, frustration, sadness or anger for example? Your feelings are a barometer of your thoughts and beliefs. When your thoughts and beliefs serve and support you in achieving your goals – they will leave you feeling good and empowered. When there are unconscious beliefs at work that may sabotage your stated goals, you will find yourself feeling bad, frustrated or dis-empowered.

What To Do Once The Unconscious Belief Is Detected

Once the unconscious belief is detected, you have the power to decide how you will use this new awareness. One of the traps in distinguishing any unconscious belief is to make a judgment about the unconscious belief by thinking that it is “bad or wrong” and reflecting that judgment back onto ourselves and who we are. Making an unconscious belief “bad or wrong” or making ourselves “bad or wrong” for holding a belief is disempowering and will only leave you feeling stuck.

The power of identifying an unconscious belief comes in facing and owning it – that is, by allowing it to simply be, or detect it and not judge it. Identifying an unconscious belief in this way allows you to see other opportunities that apparently seem not to have been there before. Taking action inside these new opportunities, recognizing that you have the power to choose a new belief and new actions, is what will really make the difference.

Basically beliefs (both consciousness and unconscious) are neither “good nor bad”, they are simply supportive or not supportive, depending on your personal goals.  If the belief is unsupportive, then there are various techniques within NLP, K-P-C™, as well as a host of other disciplines, that can assist in releasing the limiting belief.  But the key first step is to identify the unconscious belief so that you can examine and work with it.

Contemplation

• Why bother to discover your unconscious beliefs?
• What are some unwanted behaviors you currently have in your life?
• Using this process, can you now see what might be behind these outcomes?
• With this new insight, what would be an empowering action to take?
• Why is knowledge of an unconscious belief helpful in making constructive choices?

Application

Unconscious beliefs are unique to an individual. The exact wording that will empower someone in distinguishing their unconscious belief will be their own. Although there are common areas where unconscious beliefs tend to show up, such as in money and time issues, the exact wording to each person‘s unconscious beliefs is unique as the individual themselves.

My role as a coach is to empower my clients to discover and name their own unconscious beliefs.

The purpose of perceiving and detecting unconscious beliefs is to simply gain awareness so one can clarify what is behind the patterns of behavior that disempower or empower us. By using unconscious beliefs to define these patterns clearly, we can then have a fresh perspective in order to take action outside of these old patterns of behavior. Therefore, we can create new opportunities where there were none before. It is like shining a light on something that has been lurking in the dark for some time so as to be able to deal with it effectively. It is very hard to address something when it is not visible and clear. However, by detecting an unconscious belief, and facing it head on, it then becomes possible for us to change behavior.

The following question may help you to obtain an understanding of your own unconscious beliefs: “What belief, opinion, or judgment could you be reinforcing by constantly creating this outcome?”

Here the outcome could be what you want or it may not be.  This is a starting point to identify an unconscious belief.  Remember, just because a belief is unconscious doesn’t mean it’s bad or unsupportive.  There are many supportive unconscious beliefs.  The object of asking the above question is to get familiar with your feelings and responses so that you can make a decision about the belief.

When a person discovers an unconscious belief they are able to make decisions from a more powerful position because they have a greater amount of knowledge. They have the power of choice. Take the example above of a person with a stated commitment to save money, who never manages to, because of an unconscious belief that says “there is not enough resources to go around”. By identifying this unconscious belief, the client has more knowledge from which to make choices.

They may decide that a better way to balance their unconscious belief with their stated commitment is to make a donation to charity of one dollar out of every twenty that they save. They may decide to take on some volunteer work as a more constructive response to their unconscious belief than simply wasting money. By understanding their unconscious belief, the individual has agency to actively choose the behaviors that will allow them to respond to their commitments in a constructive way.

How To Best Use The Unconscious Belief Model

The first step to empower yourself with this model, is to use the process to gain access to and freedom from your own unconscious beliefs. By doing so, you will have the practical experience and be able to help others.

Your willingness to confront your unconscious beliefs and create new opportunities for your life will inspire those around you, i.e. family, friends, and coworkers as well as current and future customers (if you own a business) because they will be drawn to what you are creating in your life.

Additionally, by engaging in this process honestly yourself, you will have the compassion to assist others, if this is your calling. This compassion will help you when you are dealing with close friends and family who struggle to meet their stated goals.

“People are complex and multifaceted. Therefore, behavioral approaches that reduce complex human behavior to mechanistic stimulus and response chains will not succeed” – Peterson, 2006.

By understanding the complexity of human behaviors and its drivers, you will have more patience with yourself and be able to create a space to explore why you have issues and problems in your lives that you don‘t consciously choose. You will also have the wisdom to approach a behavior issue from a range of different angles, rather than seeing it as something that you can simply choose to quickly change. By creating this space, and respecting the complexity of your journey, you will allow yourself to make real breakthroughs and achieve sustainable change.

When my client’s are moving through the exploration of their beliefs they hold on to, whether they are working for them or not, they may feel very scared. Removing or changing a belief can place a person into great uncertainty. This is where my role of their coach is critical. At this moment in time I often remind the client of their vision and where they want to go and encourage them into seeing it.

As their coach, I can notice and identify any changes I observe in a client’s conversation, i.e. the words they use, the energy behind the words, state, posture etc.  Then, in the middle of a coaching conversation if I identify a belief, I might ask if they can share a feeling that just came up when they were speaking about that specific topic.  I’ll then share the belief I observed and the behavior they spoke about that reinforced this belief. I’ll then ask them if this belief feels aligned with them or not.

It’s my main job to support my clients in identifying their vision, purpose and mission in life  as well as assisting them reach their personal goals and achieve personal success. Part of this process is to ask them to describe the behaviors they would need to exhibit to achieve this vision…who will they have to become to reach their personal goals.

I ask them, and I suggest that you too, write down as many qualities, characteristics, beliefs, etc. as you can.

How would you walk, stand, do certain elements of each task needed to achieve your vision? Then refer to this list of behaviors as you work to achieve your vision. One of our greatest fears is success, actually being all that we can be. As a coach I observe my client’s successes, acknowledge them all and ‘enthuses’ them to keep utilizing and experiencing those supportive behaviors as often as possible. There are many activities I recommend to stay focused on you vision, i.e. visualization, meditate, write, ignore inner self talk, great supports etc.

Once you have identified what you want and who you have to become to achieve your personal goals comes the process of shifting and sorting through your beliefs. Keep the one’s that will support you on your journey and let the others float away like a bunch of helium balloons.

Final Reflection

• What is the role of unconscious beliefs in your career?
• What role do your unconscious beliefs play in your relationships?
• What are some questions you could ask yourself when you are feeling unable to visualize your personal success?

References

Peterson, David, 2006 ?People are Complex and the World is Messy: A Behaviour based Approach to Executive Coaching?, in Stober, Diane and Grant, Anthony, (eds) Evidence Based Coaching: A Handbook, Wiley and Sons, New York

Well that’s it!  I hope you found this series on unconscious beliefs helpful.  Admittedly, beliefs is a topic that can be discussed and investigated over a lifetime, and there are many individuals that have made this study their livelihood.  So, I know that this series is only scratching the surface of beliefs,  but I hope it gave you something to think about.

If you’d like to explore your beliefs further, especially your unconsciousness beliefs request an Introductory Consultation today.

Roland Gilbert

With over 20 successful years in corporate America, Roland Gilbert is now living his passion through helping others find and live theirs! Roland is a personal coach working with a wide range of clients’ issues through helping them change their thoughts and actions about their worlds – both personally and professionally.

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance.

Contact Roland at 800-974-3692 or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com  to determine if coaching is right for you. www.perennialgrowth.com