Honing Your Influencing Skills: The Art of Persuasion

The art of persuasion, of influencing the people around you, is a vital skill in the workplace. Without it, you’ll simply be ineffective. Sure, you can bend people to your iron will, or get people to do what you want with compulsion, manipulation or coercion, but at the cost of trust and long-term cooperation with colleagues or customers.

Persuasion is a different beast; subtle, but far more powerful in the long-term. So, how can you hone your influencing skills, to benefit yourself and those around you? Well, there’s a certain amount of groundwork you need to lay first.

Whether it’s a telephone pitch to a potential client or influencing colleagues at work, the same principles apply even if the timescales differ

1. It’s not (just) about the benefits.

We all know there are things we should be doing for our own benefit, but never quite get round to. The forces that motivate us aren’t quite as simple as personal gain or loss, punishment or reward.

You can have an incredible pitch on paper, but people will respond to you, or rather how they perceive you, as much as what you have to say.

Emotion screws with the wiring when we make decisions. Of course you need the numbers, but it’s never enough just to make them understand your case. They have to be eager to do business with you.

2. If you want to be heard, listen.

Gaining trust is essential, and you may only have one chance at it.

Giving the other person chance to speak not only gives you vital clues to their wants, needs and mood, but also shows that you aren’t just there to look after your own interests.

On the phone, you have to work fast to gain trust. Get off on the right foot by asking them if they have time to talk now, and promise to be brief. They then know that you value their time and are responsive to their needs, and you know whether you have their full attention even if you have to call back at a better time to get it.

If you just launch into your pitch, they might just be waiting for you to stop speaking about what you want so they can get on with their day.

“Yeah, sounds interesting… why don’t you email me the details and I’ll get back to you?”

Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

3. Use — and remember — people’s names.

As Dale Carnegie wrote in How to Win Friends & Influence People,

“…a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

And its value is immeasurable when interacting with others. Knowing this though, some people overdo it and like to remind you that they have remembered your name.

“So, James, what I’d like to offer you, James, is the chance to save 20% on your, James, subscription with us”

This just comes across as unnatural and a bit creepy, but only because it’s been over-cooked and is obviously insincere.

On the other hand though, forgetting or failing to use someone’s name can kill a deal long before you get a chance to even start negotiating. Remember, and use people’s names, because its one detail that really matters.

4. Show gratitude.

When someone does something for you, show gratitude.

Several years ago,  I happened to be working my first CES trade show in Las Vegas. For many that may not know, this is also the time the Adult Video Awards host their trade show as well.  I had a crew of fifteen regional managers manning our booth and with the bosses new drop-top Bentley as our booths center piece , we had plenty of traffic. Standing on your feet for 10 hours straight is no easy task, all the while keeping a smile on your face and pleasant, helpful demeanor. It was exhausting work, we were understaffed and underpaid, and many customers were either drunk, rude or impatient.

But the reason I remember that day is that at the end of the first day the company owner took us all out for a really nice steak dinner and gave us all $100 in chips to play! It was a totally unexpected  gesture (and cheap, considering the amount of business we did that day), but sealed the staff’s loyalty.

The regional staff from that point were punctual and reliable because the boss showed he cared and appreciated our effort. As a result, nobody wanted to let him down.

People are far more likely to respond positively to persuasion if you’ve shown appreciation in the past.

Of course benefits and returns on investment matter, but be sincere in your appreciation for other people, and they’ll give you the chance to show them how awesome it will be to work with you.

If you’d really like to make fast progress towards realizing your full personal power and potential as well as develop the mindset of confidence, request your Introductory Consultation today!

Roland Gilbert

Roland N. Gilbert is Vice-President and founder of the Perennial Consulting Group a management consulting, coaching and sales force development firm that focuses on overcoming fear and other limiting beliefs and creating empowering solutions so that individuals can live out their passions!