Taking Action For Personal Success - Part III

Last week I continued with this topic of taking action for personal success. In Taking Action For Personal Success – Part I, I began with how creating action is not always easy, it does take mental strength. However it is critical to our feeling of personal success and achievement. Action is doing. It is experiencing something.

In Taking Action For Personal Success – Part II, I discussed some application from a coaching perspective that I use and you can utilize as well.  Today I’m going to continue with…

Failure to Act

If you find yourself not willing to take action, or that you do commit to action but don‘t follow through, then there may be something blocking you from wanting to move forward. This is a strong indication that you may not be ready for the next step, at least at an unconsciousness level.

When this happens, ask yourself “What is holding me back, why do I not want to take action?” The answer is the first tip/hint of a limiting belief(s) that are interfering with your consciousness personal goals.  Remember, the consciousness mind is the goal setter and the unconsciousness mind is the goals getter.

I have had clients that have a limiting belief of “This coaching thing is not going to work, it’s easier to just not change.” When this belief is uncovered,  it usually has to do with that I’m inadvertently pushing them in directions that’s not right for them, or not challenging them enough, or not recognizing and acknowledging the significant but small steps that they are making. I’ll then ask the question “What‘s the best way that I can support you now to move into action?” This question usually loosens up the limiting belief and then it can be handled.

The Past Does Not Equals Future

Each of us remembers certain events in our past as big dramatic stories of our lives. We often focus on why we are in our current situation and provide all the details leading to this situation. The implication is often that the state we are in now is an inevitable result of past actions and activities. Unfortunately the next logical step in this mode of thinking is that things have to stay the way they are and can‘t change for the better.

At some point you may be telling yourself, a friend or even a coach a detailed story about major events of your life. For example, in order to discuss seeking more fulfillment in your work, you may feel the need to tell someone how you got into your current job, why you are in this particular job and what main obstacles have prevented you from moving beyond the present job.

Often times these stories provide an important context for you to orient yourself and the listener to your future plans. However, sometimes these stories are a way of restricting forward movement. If you keep talking about the past, this is a red flag! Be alert enough and determine if you’re stuck there. Sometimes, looking back at the past and to continue to look back may be the very thing which is preventing you from moving forward.

If this is the case KPC® (Knowledge, Power, Control), is a great mental strength tools that can resolve and neutralizing this issue.

Keep in mind that the information you are describing may be a mixture of both facts and personal interpretation. Specifically, when it comes to explaining all the reasons why you are where you are in your life. Be aware enough that you have developed your story to explain the way things are now. While all of the reasons feel “real” to you, they have all been constructed after the event. Contrary to popular belief, hindsight is not 20/20! We all look at the story of our past through the window of our present circumstances.  If the event is dramatic enough the story or explanation is called a “Black Swan.” No…not the movie 

The Black Swan Theory or Theory of Black Swan Events is a metaphor that encapsulates the concept that The event is a surprise (to the observer) and has a major impact. After the fact, the event is rationalized by hindsight.

The theory was developed by Nassim Nicholas Taleb to explain:

1. The disproportionate role of high-impact, hard to predict, and rare events that are beyond the realm of normal expectations in history, science, finance and technology

2. The non-computability of the probability of the consequential rare events using scientific methods (owing to the very nature of small probabilities)

3. The psychological biases that make people individually and collectively blind to uncertainty and unaware of the massive role of the rare event in historical affairs.

How to Get Unstuck

When you keep living in the past or feel they are getting stuck in the past, you can use a number of techniques to shift your thinking forward. One way to simply ask yourself:

• How would I like it to look/be?
• What would I like in my life right now?
• What have you learned about me from this past experience?
• How can I apply the learning from this to my current situation?

Often this will do the trick.

If you find yourself continually dwelling in the explanations of the past rather than thinking about and answering questions about the future, this is the time for coach.  After all…if you keep doing the things you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting things you’ve always gotten…and this is the cause of the “past” dialogue.  A coach can help sort this out and assist you in getting refocused on the future.

Focusing on Strengths

Unfortunately in life there are some individuals are all too willing to focus on their weaknesses and shortcomings and very few people willing to focus on strengths. Some people mistakenly think that the goal of life is to eliminate their shortcomings.  This simply denies themselves the opportunity to excel and shine and what they are good at.

Others think that it is their duty in life to point out the shortcomings in others. These people have accepted the myth of “constructive criticism.” The reality is that “constructive criticism” is never constructive at all.  Sure there are ways to provide feedback, but constructive criticism is simply a persons opinion, and depending who they are, have no real basics for this comments.

We have also become trained in believing that knowing someone‘s weaknesses is the way to help them develop and grow. We ask people to make their weaknesses strengths and we even believe at times that we should be good at everything – no weaknesses. This perspective is damaging. Every person has strengths that are unique to them. It is what makes them special. To build on these strengths is to grow their uniqueness.

Here‘s an important mental strength secret: What we focus on grows. If we focus on our strengths, they will take us to great places, if we focus on our weaknesses, they will dominate your life and prevent you from moving forward and reaching personal success.

One of the best ways to move into action is to focus on your strengths and to acknowledge them. Your ‘weaknesses’ are only ever an issue if they prevent you from building on your strengths and achieving peak personal performance.

We all have weaknesses – however, unless they prevent us from achieving our goals, they are not worth the focus of a coaching session. In fact, they are not worth focusing on at all.

Did you know that the writer F. Scott Fitzgerald was a terrible speller?

No?

It didn‘t prevent him from writing The Great Gatsby, one of the most important novels in American literature, read by millions the world over. So why would you know about it? It simply doesn‘t matter.

If Fitzgerald had focused on overcoming his spelling, instead of on writing novels, what a waste to the world (and to himself) this would have been.

Setting Goals

Anyone who has accomplished anything worthwhile has consciously or unconsciously followed through on a goal. Goals have the power to keep us focused on a purpose. They support us through difficult times when it may be tempting to give up. Personal goals create a future pull and pushed us to stay focused so we can achieve them.

One of the ways that a I support my client’s in creating in action is by supporting them to set and achieve goals. A person who wants to get the most out of life often has a number of goals simmering at the same time, in their personal and business life.

The extent to which individuals set goals and the level of detail of those goals varies enormously. Some people have a very general sense or vision of the direction that they want their lives to go and want support in making very short term goals that head them in that general direction. Other people respond well to elaborate goals and plans with detailed milestones and points of accountability leading for 5 or 10 years into the future.

Whatever the structure or form the goal takes, it’s essential to find someone that can provide a level of support and accountability that you not would otherwise have.

Roland Gilbert

If you’d really like to make fast progress towards realizing your full personal power and potential as well as develop the mindset of confidence, request your Introductory Consultation today!

Roland Gilbert

Roland N. Gilbert is Vice-President and founder of the Perennial Consulting Group a management consulting, coaching and sales force development firm that focuses on overcoming fear and other limiting beliefs and creating empowering solutions so that individuals can live out their passions!