If we are, life doesn’t refund us our time!
I have a feeling that with the number of years I have been seeing people in the counselling work that I do, and the number of people I have met socially since I stepped off the regular work ladder and started to do other things, that there is a pattern emerging! All things being equal of course, and no such thing as NORMAL, but it would seem that those of us who are happiest are those who are either totally content with what life has handed them and want no more, or those who are not totally content and are doing something about it. Of course that then leaves those who are not content who are doing NOTHING about it!
When we are born we have no self esteem, we do not have a picture of ourselves, we cannot assess ourselves. As we grow older, other people help us to do that sometimes badly! How many times have carers, parents, friends, partners, spouses really made inroads on our inner selves by putting us down, being overly critical and unkind? making us see ourselves as they see us at that moment in time. Yes, it may just be a moment in time for them, but it CAN last forever for us! (If we allow it!)
I believe the pattern of our life can very well be described by learning to walk, the falls, the pain, the anger, the frustration, the lack of balance, did we EVER think we would make it? Yet, look at us now! We go through all of this as we grow older and learn, hopefully from the type of mistakes we make. We adjust, gain the art of balancing, and make improvements as we get older. At least that is the best way to do things. Some just go on and on, doing the same things continually through their lives and wondering and despairing at, why they get the same results!
Think of the cake illustration. No way is any cake going to be any different unless we change the ingredients, and we make cake every day with the way we handle the same situations over and over again. So you aren’t happy? Then MAKE SOME CHANGES! Most times it lies with the way we handle things, and our attitude towards others, small changes there can bring about remarkable results. Every man and woman not satisfied with a relationship should perhaps realise that we obviously get locked into routine behaviour and then wonder why nothing improves, its because the first recipe is not working! Try something else!
How many of us make a conscious effort to build our partners up, commend them, show appreciation for the pleasant things they do (No one is ALL bad!) and try to encourage them? Do those things go unspoken? Why? We can all be very verbal when it comes to criticism, rejection and humiliation! Why don’t THOSE things go unspoken?
If we build someone up we are banking money for ourselves as far as that relationship goes in most cases,the changes can be quite dramatic. If that is what you want, surely it is worth a try?
If you’d really like to make fast progress towards realizing your full personal power and potential as well as develop the mindset of confidence, request your Introductory Consultation today!
Roland Gilbert
Roland N. Gilbert is Vice-President and founder of the Perennial Consulting Group a management consulting, coaching and sales force development firm that focuses on overcoming fear and other limiting beliefs and creating empowering solutions so that individuals can live out their passions!
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