Why Be in a Relationship if You Still Have a Single Person's Mentality?

One of the things that being in a relationship involves is changing our mindset from one of just pleasing ourselves and thinking,"what do I want or need to do," to, "what do we want to do or need to do". There is another person to consider. This means that you may not always get to do what you want, because there are other considerations.


Sadly, I am finding more and more that many couples (whether some people have a piece of paper saying they are married and a wedding ring on their finger, or have just committed to one another) have not changed their mentality. They still think like a single person. Their plans and schemes still revolve around themselves and what they want. They still think they can act like a single person, without considering the needs of their spouse or partner.

Take for example the husband who makes plans to go out with his boys and play basketball on the weekend. When he tells his partner she says, "But I told you it was my mother's birthday and we are taking her out for lunch." What she'd already told him didn't even register on his radar.

At this point he's likely to say, "Well, you don't need me anyway. You can go or you and the kids can go." She's left feeling her plans don't matter.

Another example is the guy who thinks it's still okay for him to go out on a regular basis and get drunk with his friends and in the process flirt with other women, while his wife stays at home. Or he may make plans without considering what the needs of the family are, whether kids have to be dropped off to football practice or baby-sitter. 

This single mentality applies equally to the woman who thinks she ought to be able to spend time with her friends, doing the things they want to do without considering what her husband might want or that he might have other plans already lined up. She might think she ought to be able to spend her money on whatever she likes since she earned it, without considering they are now a couple and there may be other more pressing needs than a new pair of shoes or outfit.

For men, the "single mentality" has always been  a little more difficult to shift from then for women. Men, historically have been the leaders in their relationships, whether they be business, personal or financial. Leadership can bring with it a feeling of "entitlement" or the "you need me more than I need you" attitude. With it comes the long list of infidelities we see today in our public figures from Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger to Anthony Weiner. 

As more and more women take positions of leadership we see this same disturbing trend. When you have been in charge of your finances, your spending, the raising of your children, your "comings and goings" and every aspect of your life for 3 years or more, it can be EXTREMELY difficult to allow someone else to come in and CONSISTENTLY take over any part of that. The "routine" becomes ingrained and unconsciously we act as if we are by ourselves while consciously asserting how much we want to be in our current relationship! These two opposing mentalities will eventually pull apart the best relationships!

It is the single mentality that is the root cause of problems in many relationships that I see in our neighborhoods and in society. It all comes back to people being used to, and expecting to get, their own way rather than put the other person in the relationship first. The next generations will grow up thinking this is the way it works and the divorce rate will continue to go up, unless we show them another and  better way.

Think. Grow. Live!


Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact Roland at 800-974-3692 orrgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if coaching is right for you.

http://www.guoybas.blogspot.com/
http://www.perennialgrowth.com/

Do You Truly Believe You Can Have a Great Life?

When we are feeling stuck in life, we most often are focusing on all the negative things taking place in our lives. We spend our time focusing on how terrible our job is, how long we have been unemployed or underemployed, how unreliable our friends are, how demanding our spouses are, how busy our lives are, and in general just how terrible everything is. It is no wonder that life feels so bad when all we do is focus on the bad things, the dark things, and all of the negative stuff that goes with it. 

If you spend all of your time carrying heavy burdens around and walking under a dark cloud, your life definitely will not get any better, and the energy that you have to move forward will be very limited- after all, carrying a heavy load takes a lot of energy.

If you want to move your life forward you need to shift your focus and spend time thinking about, dreaming about, and creating a vision of what a great life looks like. That begins by asking a few questions:

•What do you want for yourself?
•What does your perfect life look like?
•What are your goals?
•How do you get there?
•Do you truly believe you can have a great life?
•What action steps do you need to take create the change you are looking for?

Getting the answers to these questions may not be all that simple. However, the questions serve as a tool or mechanism to shift your focus from darkness and despair to a life filled with hope. Hope and inspiration often go hand in hand. Think of someone who inspires you- they are often filled with energy and they often shine with incredible brilliance. When they talk about their cause; their passion; their hopes and dreams you can see them light up and become filled with energy. The energy they exhibit is not a draining energy but, instead it is one that just seems to keep building.

If you have asked yourself the questions above and still are stuck- still don’t really know what you want out of life or what a perfect life would even look like, then there a few very important questions that you must address:

•What is preventing you from having a great life?
•What are the barriers that keep getting in your way?
•What changes in your mindset can you make?

In order to move forward, to find that hope and inspiration, you must break through the walls that are keeping you in that miserable place. The only way to really do that is to be completely honest with yourself, when answering the three questions above and to begin living with integrity.

One final question:

• Do you want to use all of your energy supporting dark heavy clouds that pull you down in life or do you want your energy to build and carry you to a new hope filled inspiring place? The choice is yours…

“Never let yesterday’s disappointments overshadow tomorrow’s dreams.” unknown

Think. Grow. Live!


Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact Roland at 800-974-3692 orrgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if coaching is right for you.

http://www.guoybas.blogspot.com/
http://www.perennialgrowth.com/

What Could You Accomplish in 100 Days?

If you got very focused and extremely motivated, what amazing goal could you accomplish in 100 days? What if you put all your focus on one thing with so much value that achieving it would elevate the way you feel about your whole life. How empowering would that be?

Most of the time there are only two things that prevent us from reaching our most important goals. Can you guess what those two things are? Let me give you a little hint. It’s usually not the lack of ability or knowledge that stands in our way. The truth is, we are all capable of much more than we give ourselves credit for, and the knowledge we need is readily available.

So what is it that gets in our way?

Most of the time, our two biggest obstacles are simply a lack of focus and a lack of motivation. And why is it so hard to gather the focus and motivation necessary to make unprecedented progress toward our most important goals? Distractions, that’s why! Life is full of so many meaningless distractions and busywork that the truly important pursuits get pushed aside and trampled on.

How many of your important goals are in a holding pattern right now? What important areas of your life have suffered because you are either too busy trying to keep up, or you are just too worn out after everything else is done?

What if you were totally motivated?

Let’s look at the other side of the equation for a minute. Is there some amazing goal that you could totally immerse yourself in if you could find a way to push all the distractions and busy work aside for awhile? Something that would really light your fire and get you excited? Think about that for a moment and see what you come up with.

I’m guessing that there is something that you feel that way about. Be honest here, isn’t there some special goal that you would love to accomplish if you only had the circumstances. Do you think it might be possible to actually create those circumstances if you were extremely motivated?

Focus follows motivation and commitment

Let’s work on the motivation aspect first. As of September 22 there will be 100 days left to accomplish something spectacular this year. I have always found that having a deadline can create a lot of motivation and this one has some great advantages.

One of those advantages is the fact that you’ve got two weeks to get ready. That’s just enough time to get your strategy together and clearly define your action plan. Another advantage has to do with a head start perspective. Most people will postpone their efforts until after the end of the year. Then they will make some kind of a resolution (again). You, on the other hand will have already accomplished your amazing goal. That means that you can look back on this year with a real sense of accomplishment instead of attaching it to some future uncertainty.

Some tools to help you go for it

Goal setting and Goal achieving are tow totally different things! My experience has shown me that people are NOTORIOUS for setting GREAT goals with no respectable follow through. I have written several articles where I have pulled together all of the best known wisdom, advice and instruction on Goal Setting and Goal Achieving so you don't have to. Best of all, as usual, it's FREE!

It’s called the Goal Setting Toolkit and it includes:

* 4 high quality articles for changing your life quickly.
* Goal Setting Action Plan for producing BIG results.
* Special advice that helps you make a quantum leap.
* Exclusive insights that will completely change the
  way you think about goal setting and success.

If you grab this toolkit and go over it during the next two weeks it will help you get prepared to experience massive accomplishment by the end of the year.

6 things you’ll need to reach your goal in 100 days

1. Clarity. The first thing needed is to actually have one or more clear and meaningful goals. Take some time between now and Thursday, September 22, to get very clear about exactly what you plan to accomplish.

2. Motivation. To pull this off, motivation is a must. Think about all the reasons why accomplishing your amazing goal is important to you. List the benefits you will experience and how it will make you feel. You’ve already got a starting point and a deadline. Make sure you also have a good reason.

3. Commitment. Don’t just say you are going to try, that leaves too much wiggle room. Decide to make a rock solid commitment to actually accomplish your goal by the end of the 100 days. It will take a solid commitment to keep those distractions at bay.

4. Focus. This is where the real power to accomplish your goals comes from. Maintaining a high degree of focus is the difference between mediocre results and outstanding results. To help you with that little challenge, I highly recommend that you read "Using Applied Focus Sessions to Boost Productivity". It’s a little focus strategy so you can make the time to reach your goal and still have a life.

5. Accountability. This one is easy, all you need to do is leave a comment telling us what amazing goal you intend to accomplish between Sept. 22 and Dec. 31. There’s a lot of power in the simple act of putting your goals on display for the entire world to see.

6. Action. As usual, nothing happens without action. We live in an action-reaction reality and all the good intentions in the world won’t amount to much if they aren’t backed up by action. So, spend the next two weeks preparing to take massive action for 100 days.

Grab your Goal Setting Toolkit and let’s make something wonderful happen!

Are you ready to astound yourself?

What amazing goal are you going to accomplish?

Think. Grow. Live!


Roland N. Gilbert

Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact Roland at 800-974-3692 or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if coaching is right for you.

http://www.guoybas.blogspot.com/
http://www.perennialgrowth.com/

Raising Money to Start a Small Business

Having to raise money to start a business is probably the most difficult aspect of getting any start-up business off the ground.

Most businesses require a good amount of capital to start, and most of us are filled with good ideas but usually have a lack of money to get started.

If you are truly serious about starting a business, then you have to learn how to raise money to start a business.

Every potential business owner needs a business plan

A business plan outlines everything from location, money sources, advertising expenses, to how much food will cost and how many chairs the business will need. It will outline what type of business you intend to run and most importantly, how it is different from other businesses.

You can start a for profit or a non profit business, and you need to know the difference between these. A non-profit business will have special rules and considerations it must abide by but can be easier to raise money for versus a for profit business.

Your business plan should always be a work in progress. As new ideas come to you in the middle of the night (and they will) your business plan will need to be altered to show applications for these new ideas. Everyone whom you will encounter in the process of learning  how to raise money to start a business will want to review your business plan.

Moreover, you will want to classify quite clearly why you are a good choice to run the business. What makes you more qualified than you neighbor or more importantly, the guy in the next town with a very similar business?

While an education is helpful, it does not always boil down to educational resources. Sometimes life experience or a special ability in a niche often times is what makes you more qualified than someone else to run your business.

You are going to have to become your very own pitch person. You will be in front of bank representatives and philanthropists trying to convince them to take a chance on you.

While you never want to beg, you do want to show them that you are competent but human, strong but able to listen, and powerful without being too proud. You want to be the ultimate business person.

Look for private and government small business grants

There are many, many grants available for people to start businesses. There are specified grants for women, minorities, and even immigrants to help get your start-up business off the ground and get money into the hands of those with big business ideas. It's important too apply for these grants and it's also important to use them as they were intended to be used.

Every step you take toward accessing additional funds will bring you a step closer toward realizing your dream of owning and running your own business. The most successful are the ones who simply refused to give up.


Think. Grow. Live!

Roland N. Gilbert

Perennial Consulting Group has been helping small business and entrepreneurs for years "get it right!" If you are looking to get your business started or looking to expand your current enterprise, let Perennial Consulting Group partner with you today so that you can excel tomorrow!

If you'd like to explore the possibility of starting your own business, contact me today and schedule your free consultation!

Roland N. Gilbert is Vice-President and founder of the Perennial Consulting Group a management consulting, coaching and sales force development firm that focuses on sales force development, sales training, peak performance, profit improvement, team-building and personal development. Contact Roland at 800-974-3692 or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if business consulting is right for you.

www.perennialgrowth.com

www.guoybas.blogspot.com

Finding and Evaluating Small Business Opportunities and Ideas

So you have decided that you will be starting a small business of your own.  What next?  The next step is to find and evaluate small business opportunities and ideas.  The challenge most small business enthusiasts face is to figure out whether their business will be successful or not.  While no technique can guarantee success, choosing the right small business opportunity or idea increases the probability of success.  The question is how and where to find business ideas?  Finding the right business idea is not something that happens by accident.  Yes there are some Eureka moments, but not every idea can be converted into a viable business.  Remember that you don’t have to invent something absolutely unknown to the world to start your small business.  In fact, most small businesses are built on already proven and successful ideas.  Yes, you will have to create a differentiation for yourself and that differentiating factor could be anything from customer service to product variation to operating hours.

How to Find Small Business Opportunities and Ideas

The process of finding small business ideas involves an assessment of your interests, skills, business types etc.

Personal Assessment

The first step in finding great small business ideas is to evaluate yourself, your preferences and your personality.  You need to ask yourself:

• Which subject you enjoyed most in your school and college?
• What are your interests and hobbies?
• What would you enjoy doing even without getting paid for it?
• What are your top three business skills (analysis, sales, accounting, marketing, hiring, training, project   management etc.)?
• What are your top three personal skills (creativity, leadership, counseling, problem solving, listening etc.)?
• What jobs have you enjoyed doing the most during your career and why?
• What jobs have you enjoyed doing the least during your career and why?

The purpose of these questions is to find out your strengths and weaknesses, your passion and interests etc.  If you are willing to write books, for example, without even being paid for them, it shows you are passionate about writing books.  Starting and running a business requires the entrepreneur to be highly passionate about the overall concept of the business.  The skills assessment would help you find out what jobs you are good at and shows that you will be able to assume those responsibilities in your business.  The skills that are not your strengths can be acquired through trainings and courses.  Finding out about jobs that you liked (and disliked) doing most in your career is important because chances are you will still like doing those as part of your business and will be able to do them well.  This will also help you select the right category of business for yourself.

Business Types:

Most types of small business opportunities and ideas can be divided into four major categories: Manufacturing, Wholesale, Retail and Services.  Understanding of these categories is essential because each one has their own working styles, capital requirements, entry barriers etc.

Manufacturing – The mother of all businesses.  Manufacturing businesses are both capital and labor intensive businesses.  To run a manufacturing unit, you will need machinery and equipment, human resources, inventory etc. which require capital investments.  The upside of starting a manufacturing unit is that it’s a high reward business and, if successful, can grow very quickly.

Wholesale – A wholesale business is the intermediary between manufacturing units and retailers.  The wholesale business, in spite of lot of manufacturers dealing directly with retailers and even consumers, is an active and important element in the distribution of products.  The wholesalers buy large quantities of products at discounted prices from manufacturers and sell them to retailers at a marked up price.  Since a wholesale business has to buy in large quantities and also need to maintain a big inventory, the capital requirement is very high.  The upside of a wholesale business with a product that is in high demand can bring significant profits due to economies of scale.

Retail – Everyone knows retail very well because we deal with retailers very often, almost on a daily basis.  A retail business has low capital requirements as it does not require huge inventory and the business operates mostly on cash (no receivables).  A retail business can also be run on the Internet without needing a physical storefront.

Services – One of easiest and least expensive business types to start.  A services business does not require huge inventory (pool of skilled workers is the inventory) and the cost of equipments is also very minimal.  The upside of a services business is that it is the safest to start but one can’t expect exponential growth unless there is a revolution, for example the unprecedented growth in the IT industry.

Generating Small Business Ideas

A thorough personal assessment and understanding of business types should most likely give you several small business opportunities and ideas; for eg: if you are a passionate about photography then you can become a freelance photographer or if sales is one of your strength and you love golf then you can start selling golf equipments and gear.

In case you are still not able to find the small business idea for yourself then you can use any idea generation technique.  I suggest using SCAMPER as it is provides a structured and multi-dimensional way of generating ideas about any topic.  To use SCAMPER to generate ideas for a new product or service, you will:

S – Find or create a Substitute for an existing product or service

C – Combine with an existing product or service

A – Find out how people will be able to Adapt to it easily

M – How it can be Modified to create a different offering

P – How it can be Put To Other Uses

E – Eliminate dissatisfaction, waste etc.

R – Reverse or Rearrange to create a new offering

Evaluating Small Business Opportunities and Ideas

If you follow the above steps you will have more than a couple of small business opportunities and ideas to select from.  The next step is to evaluate those ideas to ensure that the business you are planning to open is right one to start and suitable for you.

The demand and supply – Determine the demand for the product or service that you plan to offer.  If the demand is high and there is a gap in supply then it makes a right business opportunity.

The competition – Study the competition closely to find out the reasons for their success, operating procedures, strengths and weaknesses.  Find out the gaps in their processes and what you can do differently and better.  If there is something that they are not offering or you can do something that will be valued more by the customers then go for it.

The Industry – Find out if the industry is overcrowded with big and strongly placed brands.  If it is then it is probably not the industry that you should be in unless you really have a game changer in your hand.

The Business Dynamics – Some businesses and industries change very rapidly.  Find out your comfort level with the dynamics of the industry that you are planning to be in.  You may not want to start selling mobile phones, for example, if you are looking for a slow paced industry.

Specialization – Are you a specialist in the business that you are planning to open.  There is a definite advantage in being a specialist and called an expert in any field.  An expert is valued more by customers and is given preference over others, for example Starbucks specializes in coffee and Google specializes in search.

Risk – Determine the inherent risks in the business and compare it with your risk taking capacity.  If you have low risk taking capacity then go for services or retail businesses.

Affordability – The decision on starting a small business should finally be based on whether you can afford to start and run that business.  Of course you can raise funds but that also has a cost that is to be paid.  If you are looking for inexpensive business to start then think of providing services rather than starting a manufacturing unit.

If you follow the above steps we are sure that you will be able to find the most suitable small business opportunities and ideas for yourself.

Think. Grow. Live!

Roland N. Gilbert

Perennial Consulting Group has been helping small business and entrepreneurs for years "get it right!" If you are looking to get your business started or looking to expand your current enterprise, let Perennial Consulting Group partner with you today so that you can excel tomorrow!

If you'd like to explore the possibility of starting your own business, contact me today and schedule your free consultation!

Roland N. Gilbert is Vice-President and founder of the Perennial Consulting Group a management consulting, coaching and sales force development firm that focuses on sales force development, sales training, peak performance, profit improvement, team-building and personal development. Contact Roland at 800-974-3692 or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if business consulting is right for you.

www.perennialgrowth.com

www.guoybas.blogspot.com