Did you know that according to Proverbs 18:14 "a man's spirit sustains him in sickness"? (Women don't try this at home because it only applies to men. In fact, the opposite is true for you. I'm sorry, ladies, but your spirit will fail you when you're ill.)
If the logic seems a bit strange to you, imagine my reaction when people tell me that by looking for a husband, a woman is going against God's plan for her life. After all, they cite, the Bible says in Proverbs 18:22 that "HE who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord." So the opposite must be true. Right???
Not so fast. I think we're drawing conclusions where's there's none to be had. Reading through Proverbs, it seems as though it was written as an instruction manual for men. In this book, for the most part, there aren't instructions that address women. Even the infamous Proverbs 31 is offering tips to men on how to identify a good wife. However, I do think both genders can benefit from the wisdom of Proverbs. So, perhaps verse 18:22 isn't telling women what not to do, but it is instead a reminder to men, who often times under value the blessings and benefits of marriage (especially in this day and age), that they should think differently about making a commitment to a woman. The scripture is encouraging men -- and that doesn't mean it's discouraging women, just as the other verses in Proverbs that use a "he" pronoun or that refer to men aren't discouraging the women to act on all the wise sayings in the book.
Most women who desire marriage are looking for it whether they acknowledge it or not. If you've ever signed up for ANY dating website, be it ChristianCafe, Eharmony or ChristianMingle you are pursuing love. If you ever said yes to a blind date set up by family or friends; if you ever attended a singles event in hopes of meeting someone; if you ever met a stranger and looked to see if their was a ring on his finger and when their wasn't batted your eyes, giggled or any of the other coy methods women use, you are actively looking for a husband.
You may not launch your own website or go on national television to share your story, but you are still on a search. And that's okay because according to scripture once you find your spouse you'll receive favor from the Lord! And as all married couples will tell you, marriage is hard work, so you're definitely going to need favor from God.
Consider the Story of Ruth and Boaz. Naomi was a shrewd older woman who had seen a lot of life, and put together a plan to prod Boaz into proposing to Ruth. She knew men, and she gave Ruth specific instructions on everything she had to do. Fortunately, Ruth had the good sense to LISTEN to the older woman. According to the scripture, She perfumed herself, dressed in her best skirt n heels, and waited until Boaz had eaten a good meal (As most of you women know a man with a full stomach is MUCH easier to handle). When Boaz finally lay down to sleep, Ruth approached him where he lay on the threshing floor - and if you know your biblical history, someone always slept there at night until the grain was removed, to guard against thieves.
'When Boaz had eaten and drunk, and he was in a contented mood, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of grain. Then she came stealthily and uncovered his feet, and lay down.'
This action would seem strange unless you knew that in ancient times 'foot' was a euphemism for the male genital organ, as 'sandal' was for the female organ. Threshing floors at harvest time were often the scene of sexual encounters.
Lying beside Boaz, Ruth suggested that he, as the go-el of Naomi’s family, should ‘cover her with his blanket’, a euphemism for marriage. She had the right to demand marriage of the go-el of her family, so that she could have the children that Israelite women longed for. Boaz happily agreed, but pointed out to her that there was another man who had that right, a closer relative even than himself. Boaz had to square matters with him before he could marry Ruth. He seems to have been at pains to do everything correctly, so that there could be no question about the legality of the marriage.
Is it "un-biblical" for a woman to ask a man for marriage?
What "traditions" today prevent that from happening?
Think. Grow. Live!
Roland N. Gilbert
Roland N. Gilbert
Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance.
Contact Roland at or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if coaching is right for you. www.perennialgrowth.com
