Have you ever found yourself in a relationship situation where you're constantly calling the girl, taking her out and being devoted, sweet and kind to her only to get games, drama and inconsistency in return? While most women want to be with a man who treats them right and is ready for commitment, there are selfish and opportunistic women who intentionally take advantage of men and relationships. Here are 10 tips on how to tell if she's just using you or not that into you:
She repeatedly tells you how interested she is and how much she wants to see you; however, when dates are scheduled, she cancels at the last minute or something always seems to come up to prevent the two of you from meeting unless she needs something from you.There's a chance this woman doesn't enjoy your company at all and is in fact using you.
2. She crosses her arms
Did she assume the angry librarian stance? When a woman on a date places her hands in front of her body — especially if they are crossed — she is closing herself off from you! If you get this red flag, you don't stand a chance… and she wants you to know it. Men are not nearly as perceptive as women, so even if she's not consciously aware of it, a woman knows her body language needs to be very loud. Fellas, In this instance, that body language reads loud and clear.
3. She places her bag between you two
When I ask male friends about how a blind date went, step-by-step, and they say 'she put her bag on the table,' I always know that's a bad sign! If your date places her purse — a real and physical barrier — between you two, she's showing she wants to create distance. Not a good sign.
4. She speaks faster than an auctioneer
So she seems to love talking to you? Look, before you break open the Chrystal, check the speed of her small talk. Romantic conversation does not occur at the same speed as business conversation! Conversation between two people who are attracted typically slows to about three-quarter speed and softens. In fact, most emotional conversation — with the exception of very hostile conversation — is at a slowed cadence. That said, she may be nervous early in your first date, and her nerves can cause her to spit her sentences out rapid-fire. But if by the end of the evening she's still going at a rapid rate, consider it a clue that she just wants to be friends at best.
5. She offers you a chin-up smile
Though it's tempting to interpret any old smile as a sign of interest, all smiles are not created equal. Smiles can say a lot — "I'm polite," "I'm crazy about you," and, believe it or not, "I can't stand you." The secret to decoding what her smile really means? It's all in the chin placement. A woman who gives you a relaxed, chin-down "soft smile" is feeling you and wants you to dig her back and take control of the situation. A full-on toothpaste grin or stiff and polite smile — both of which generally involve the chin raised up — mean either "I like you as a friend" or "I wanna get out of here!"
6. She strokes her neck
If your girl is telling you she agrees that you should get together again, that's a good sign, right? Maybe. Check her body language that's key to the real truth. If a woman is gently stroking her neck when telling you this, it may be a sign that she's interested, but it is also known to be a sign of lying. (To much CSI I guess) To figure out which message she's sending, consider all the aforementioned "she's not into you" signals I've mentioned. If she's also giving you the raised-chin smile and speaking to you over a giant purse, you may want to move on to your next prospect.
7. She doesn't return your phone calls
If the girl seldom returns your calls in a timely manner, always has a busy schedule and only calls when she wants something from you or needs a favor, it should be clear that she is using you and that you are not a priority.
8. She only hangs out with you as a last resort
A woman that desires you will create time in her busy schedule to be with you. But If she only makes plans with you at the last minute, as if nothing better came her way or when plans with her friends fizzle, you're pretty much an after thought and her last resort when she's bored.
A normal couple alternates in buying each other dinner and gifts; however, there are many situations where women only see men as a source of movie tickets and food or, even worse--a rent check or a down payment for a car.
Ask yourself the following questions: Are you constantly buying things for her and receiving nothing in return? Do you always pay when you go out and find yourself spending more money on her than you counted on? Does she borrow money from you but never pays you back? Does she write you off whenever you're not spending money on her? If you answered yes to these, the lady in your life is a gold digger.
10. Her future plans don't include you
If she only has short term plans about your relationship, gives no answer when you ask about what your relationship will be like three years from now and always avoids talking about meeting her friends or parents, she is more than likely using you to fill a temporary void in her life until someone better comes along.
Do you have something to add?
Think. Grow. Live!
Roland N. Gilbert
Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact Roland at 800-974-3692 or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if coaching is right for you.
http://www.guoybas.blogspot.com/
http://www.perennialgrowth.com/
