Most coaching clients who are in business for themselves come to coaching because they have goals they need help achieving. These goals can include increasing sales, income, or efficiency; becoming better at time management, or creating better work life balance. All GREAT goals, to be sure and worthy of their attention.
But regardless of the tenacity, determination and ability of the client, if they try to accomplish their own personal "Mount Everest" without a firm footing at base camp, their particular journey on the road to the top will probably take longer and have more detours than they had originally imagined.
Wonder why? In this world of instant and constant "connectedness" with Blackberries, cell phones and computers making being out of contact virtually impossible (pun intended), many small business owners are run ragged. They find themselves reacting to everyone else’s agenda, instead of setting their own.
For example, there’s the young realtor I worked with recently who answers every call on her cell phone, regardless of where she is or what she is doing. Her more seasoned counterparts look on knowingly, wondering how long it will take her to learn the importance of screening her calls, putting her phone on vibrate, or better yet, giving out the office’s phone number instead of the her own.
Many small business owners believe they are so pressed for time that they can’t take an hour to go to the doctor, for a growing cyst that might be cancerous. Others believe that their customer’s emergency — due to poor planning on their customer’s part — is now theirs as they run around trying to solve a problem they didn't create. And still others insist that their families are their priority while a closer examination using time as the measurement shows that this just isn't the case. (sound familiar?)
For these small business owners, extreme self care is the first step in wrestling back control of their lives, before they start the climb up their personal Everest. Too busy reacting to others agendas instead of their own, demonstrating little or no ability to say no, and no tangible evidence of any respect for their own boundaries, they are usually exhausted before they even beginning trying to make the climb. Before starting such a journey, it helps to be healthy, centered, focused, energetic and surrounded by people and environments that will support them and not deter them.
That’s where self care comes in.
- Simplifying your life. Create an absolute yes list and put the rest of your activities on hold. This can be very difficult to do, for a variety of reasons. First, the people around you won’t like it when you draw back and stop doing what they currently depend on you to do. But it’s essential, because if you don’t, you’ll be too busy to practice self care.
- Begin putting yourself first, instead of second, third, fourth, fifth and last. While some might see this as extreme, many people won’t practice self care to the level it should be practiced unless they are given permission to do so.
- Once you become better at working your “no,” muscle, at naming, sticking to and enforcing personal boundaries, then and only then can you take the third step in self care, which is getting nourished. This can come from a variety of sources: friends, family, food, activities, exercise, and home and work environments.
After business owners and entrepreneurs take these three steps, their chances of reaching their personal Everest increase dramatically, often with fewer detours and surprises. That’s not to say that there won’t be any surprises, because no one can control all the forces around us, be it weather, other climbers, or something else. If my past experience is any indicator, I know that as some of you read this, you’re thinking that you don’t have time to practice self care. Your goal is so important that it can’t wait.
But ask any successful business owner or climber and they’ll confirm that it takes longer to reach a goal if you haven’t done everything that’s demanded at base camp. The smartest thing you can do is take the "meta-view" look at the big picture, by taking a step back. An added bonus of doing so is that your life will be more balanced, you’ll have more room for the things you really want in your life and you’ll feel a lot better when you do begin working on your goal.
Once you begin looking after yourself, it will be hard to go back to what you now see was a crazy, out of control life. It really is all about the journey and not the destination, because what’s the point of reaching Everest if the trip, even up to base camp, leaves you exhausted and spent? And equally as important, if you do manage to get there, but feel worn out from it all, how much energy will you have for celebrating the momentous event? And as leaders in the human potential field tell us; stopping to celebrate and acknowledge our victory is imperative, as doing so psychologically spurs us on to even bigger and better things.
Business owners and entrepreneurs who practice self care by exercising, eating well and getting enough sleep find that they get more done than their counterparts who work longer hours, eat lunch off the sides of their desks and keep insane hours. Practicing these steps will increase the chances that you’re around to enjoy your business over the long haul.
What "priorities" are keeping you from experiencing a better "work/life" balance?
Have your "deadlines" become your "deathline"?
Think, Grow. Live!
Roland N. Gilbert
Roland works one-on-one – via phone and face-to-face – and with Master Mind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Roland helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance. Contact Roland at 800-974-3692or rgilbert@perennialgrowth.com to determine if coaching is right for you.
